The Strategy

Okay, folks, ready to play? Here's what we're going to do:

I will post each snippet in a separate posting; all changes will go in the comments. Read the post and play with your changes to make it more tense. DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS until after you've done your suggestions. Then when you're ready, post yours in the comments section and see how it compares with other people's. Did any of us make it more tense? More compelling? More intriguing?

We have 4 to start with, but feel free to send more if you'd like. Hopefully this will be fun. Just a note: I'm going to have to come back and do my changes lately, as I have a really busy day today. Are you surprised? {g}