Woke up to 2 inches of snow and a brisk 9 degrees this morning. It's a rule that it has to be snowy and freezing for Halloween. {g}
How are you feeling about the tension snippets? Having fun?
I think many of you did manage to up the tension, and maybe let the authors look at their snips in a new way. However, you also added {cough} quite a few more words. So if there are no objections, let's carry this exercise on a little farther, and practice tightening.
NEXT: I'm going to start new threads again for each of the snippets (I'll just post the original). You need to take YOUR edited version of that original, and tighten the heck out of it. Take out any unnecessary descriptors and extra words. Use active verbs instead of adjectives if you can. See how many words you can cut out, and still keep the sense of the scene plus that tension you added.
(I've had to write to a 350-word count for a whole article, and it's one of the best exercises I ever did. Be ruthless, but don't lose anything vital.)
GO!
Hi Susan,
ReplyDeleteWould you happen to have our original edited versions of everyone's snippets?
Carol
Hi Carol:
ReplyDeleteNot separately, but they're all still posted in the comments. Sorry it's not more convenient! (but I don't actually know who posted what for all of them)
I'll play along for the first two snippets - all I had time for on the first round.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, adding is easy; subtracting is a b*tch. [g] I used to write catalog copy for computer books - 20 word limit per title. It was torture!! Actually, it was a great exercise in cutting. ;> (Though I'm rather long out of practice now...and it shows!)