Friday, September 26, 2008

All your publishing questions ANSWERED!

Finally, after much struggle and heartache and dangerous adventures on your behalf, I have located the magic treasure box of Publishing Answers. This box is soooo magical (and sparkly) that it not only contains all the answers every writer wants to know, but it personalizes the answers for each person. So yes, the answers below really are for YOU. They are the real, truthful answers. No more waiting! No more endless wondering! No more twitching!

Now, I haven't tried it yet either, so I'm going to be surprised right along with you. I've made up a list of the usual questions, and we'll see what the oracle has to say.

Anyway, without further ado, here we go....

1. Will my book be published?
ANSWER: Maybe. It depends.

2. When will I get an agent?
ANSWER: When the time is right.

3. When will I get an offer?
ANSWER: When the time is right.

4. Is the book good enough yet? Should I send it off?
ANSWER: No.

5. How many times will I need to revise this book?
ANSWER: Over and over and over and over and over. Until it's ready.

6. Will I go insane before I finish this book/land an agent/get an offer? Will all my hair be gone, because I ripped it out by the roots? Will I be old, and gray, and peering at the screen through massive grocery-store-bought magnifying glasses?
ANSWER: BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA.




{looks at magic chest. looks at all of you. looks at magic chest again.}


{HACKS MAGIC CHEST TO BITS WITH HANDY AXE}

Whew. Sorry about that. I'll keep looking.

7 comments:

Linder said...

LOL! Wow, that's so real it's _spooky_. Especially #5. {g}

Linder

Susan Adrian said...

*headshake*

Stupid magic chest.

Precie said...

Good thing you had an axe handy! LOL!!

courtney said...

I think that magic chest might have been posessed. Just a l'il. Answer #6 seemed very ominous to me. So you did the right thing with that axe.

Susan Adrian said...

Precie and Courtney: Advice: always have an axe handy. Just in case your treasure chest is possessed.

Just sayin'.

Lottery Girl said...

OMGosh! That is SOOOOOOOOO funny! Thank heaven you happened to have an axe handy. WAIT!!! Why did you have an axe handy? (I'm going to make sure to never piss you off, girl!)

Susan Adrian said...

LG: Never ever piss me off. Especially when I have one hand behind my back.