Mascots

Each book I write is a very different experience--which makes sense, as they're all unique and lovely speshial snowflakes. *pets manuscripts*

No, seriously.

They each have their overlying themes, their "moods," their music, their various levels of beating the heck out of me--*glares at last book*--and their own mascots.

Mascots are for me to look at as I write, then later as I submit and bite my nails. When I'm first-draft writing I look at them often (or touch them, if appropriate). In the later, more difficult stages they remind me of that first-draft time when I was happiest with the book.

Much, much later, as I move on to yet another book and the old mascots sit on the shelf like abandoned toys, they remind me of what I've accomplished. But it's interesting to see how they change, and what they say about me at the time, and the books they represent.

Book 1: The Murderess's Tale
Didn't have one. I was flailing around, didn't know what the heck I was doing. It wasn't ready for a mascot. Anyone want a first novel YA historical based in 1387 England? *crickets*

Book 2: The Weirdest Thing about Jenna
It had flying monkeys. Hence, this lovely:

It's eyes actually lit up, once upon a time! It's also holding in its lap the mascot for a not-long-for-this-world manuscript, Book 3: Ghost Girl. (I had that title before the published book! I swear!)

Book 4: Salvaged
Did not ever have a mascot either. *shifty eyes* I think there is a reason for this.

Which leads us to:
Book 5: Happy Sauce (not its real name)
This lovely, which I am currently doing edits for, has TWO mascots because one could not contain its fabulous juju.

Mascot #1 is a monster that Child designed and sewed for me. She named it Annabelle.

 She is a little creepy, I admit. But heck, the book's a little creepy too. In a GOOD WAY.

Mascot #2 I bought for myself. I saw it at the gem and mineral show, and when I lifted it, it made me happy. It is so smooth and slick, and just the right weight. It is also gorgeous, from all angles, with greens and whites and pinks that shift. It looks like clouds trapped in stone.

I use this one like a worry ball--when I'm pondering plot twists or what to leave in/take out, I roll it in my hands and it HELPS.

I can't be the only one who does this sort of thing, am I? Do you have mascots for your books?

The Story that GETS You

Have you ever found a story that feels like it was told just for you? Not one you wrote--that's cheating--but one you read, or watch. It pushes all your buttons, your passions. The situation, characters, and complexities keep you up into the night, imagining. You finish a chapter or an episode with a goofy grin on your face (YES!), and then immediately turn the page or watch the next episode or click PLAY again to keep that feeling going as long as possible.

I hope you have. It's an immersive, complete high (without drugs!), and it's damn fun. I hadn't had that feeling for a while--the last time was with Jane Austen, maybe, or earlier with The Princess Bride. I found it again this past month in what was (for me) an unexpected place: a tv series.

Meet my latest obsession: CHUCK.

I'm not much kidding with the obsession part either. I had been mildly attracted by the ads for a little while, so one lunch break a month ago I decided to watch Season 1, Episode 1 and see if I liked it.

Oh my GOD. A month later and I have watched every single episode of 3 and a half seasons. Avidly. Several of them more than once. That world and characters was so compelling for me it was hard to drag myself out of it every day. Yesterday I finally caught up to the series in real-time, and I just want to go back and watch my favorites.

Now being a storyteller myself, of course I had to try to analyze WHY. What made it so compelling? What was/is the magic? (how do I put that magic into my own books?) So here 'tis. Why I love CHUCK:

THE GENRE MASH-UP

From Wikipedia: "Chuck is an action-comedy television program from the United States created by Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak. The series is about an "average computer-whiz-next-door" who receives an encoded e-mail from an old college friend now working in the CIA; the message embeds the only remaining copy of the world's greatest spy secrets into Chuck's brain."

It's not just an action-comedy. It's action, comedy, drama, romance, and spy stuff, with geek references. It really does a great job of mixing it all up, every week. I've read and watched so much that I get bored by the predictable, and it's never predictable when you can dip into any genre and steal the best stuff. This you can definitely translate to books.  

Takeaway: Don't go for the simple and predictable because you're "supposed" to, because it's in the genre. Throw in whatever you like best. Mix it all up together.


THE SITUATION (WISH-FULFILLMENT)

At the start, Chuck is about your everyday guy--bumbling, nerdy, not living up to his full potential, but smart. Through no fault or intent of his own, he gets an extremely valuable power (knowledge) thrust upon him. He not only has to figure out how to handle it--or how to try to get rid of it--but how to deal with all these people who are suddenly fighting with him and over him for it. Yes, it's an old story, but it's one that appeals to everybody. Who doesn't want to suddenly find themselves special, valuable, and fought over? And yet the struggle is that it also puts him and the most important part of his life--his family and friends--at grave risk. So does he want to keep the power, or doesn't he? Does he really want to go back to the way he used to be?  I loved that he doesn't embrace his skills right away and just turn into a super-spy. He's actively trying to rid himself of them, even while everything in his life is changing under his feet.

This situation does change after Season 3, but by that point I was hooked enough to want to see the character grow. It was a natural development, and would have been stagnant to keep it as it was. And they still find ways to put in the everyman theme.

Takeaway: It's okay to use an old story if you keep it fresh with new twists.  Keep the stakes astonishingly high, and not just for the main protagonist, but for others we care about. Also, I love spy stuff and powers.  *cough*

THE WRITING

Day-am there is good writing in this show. The characters are so very well drawn it's hard not to feel like you know them. Even the minor characters are complex. There are strong plot arcs that keep you coming back and fabulous dialogue. I adore Casey's grunts and Chuck and Morgan's nerd repartee. All the wonderful inside nerd jokes, from movie lines to game references and props. Yes, I am a nerd herder.

It's SMART writing.

People warned me off Seasons 3 and 4, but I'm still right in there addicted. Yes, some of the episodes aren't as strong as others--that's just the way of things--but when they hit the heavy plot arcs of family, loss, relationships, romance, and discovery of self, they always bring it back. By this time I trust the writers. Go Josh and Chris and your teams!

Takeaway: Pay attention to all the details of the story. Make EVERY part of it sing, and it will show. Have fun with it. These writers seem to have great fun. Also, don't underestimate your audience. Assume they're smart; assume they'll get it.

THE ACTING

This part unfortunately doesn't translate well to writing books, but I have to give props to the actors. Zachary Levi is outstanding as Chuck. One moment Kung Fu action hero, the next showing the pain of self-sacrifice to save someone he loves. He really does carry the show, and I don't think it would've made it this far without him. Yvonne Strahovski, of course, as Chuck's handler/love interest Sarah, is fabulous. My favorite episode of the two of them, still, is Chuck vs. The Honeymoon. They seemed to have a great time together, and I do love their relationship.

The supporting cast is all fabulous, though. Joshua Gomez, Adam Baldwin (grunt), Sarah Lancaster, Ryan McPartlin, and all the guest stars (Timothy Dalton and Linda Hamilton FTW). There isn't a weak link, and that's important to keep it GOOD.

WHAT I HOPE COMES NEXT

A Season 5, of course. I've already joined the campaigning. But I also hope the writers live up to that trust and keep it strong, keep the stakes HIGH, not just devolve into standalone bad-guy-of-the-week episodes. I don't think they will.
(spoiler speculations below in white text)
I do think in Season 4 they haven't exploited the potential danger to Ellie/Awesome/Clara enough. Chuck and Sarah are so high-profile now, with many people having seen them in action. I'd love a storyline where the danger is real and they have to seriously consider putting Ellie/Awesome/Clara away in witness protection. Before the wedding. It would take us back to Chuck seeing how this life affects his family, which is a primary theme. *hopes*

****

This is probably getting a little embarrassing now. Okay, We probably passed that point a few paragraphs ago. :) But I hope a few of you take a look at CHUCK, if you were thinking about it. Or if that's not YOUR story, the one that GETS you, I hope you find a story you can get that passionate about, if only for a little while.

I'm off to figure out how to MAKE a story people can get that passionate about. This obsession has been good for the creative brain.

Now, tell me about the stories that were made for you! Which ones have really gotten under your skin?

Playing

Inspired by Scott's short fiction today, I thought I'd post a little something something from my files. This was a piece I was just playing around with a couple years ago, for fun. Let me know if you post a snip too!
*****

She stepped light down the road, this mother, her feet pat-patting on the soft, red dirt. The weight of the one child pulled on her back, a sweet, sleepy weight. The other walked beside, proud at being so big. The mother shaded her eyes against the morning sun to judge the land, to know how far until they should stop to drink, eat some of their hard-saved beans.

The land was wide here, a stretch of red and brown dust, rock, and scraggle-tooth trees far into the sky. Only this road brave enough to go through it, this road and this mother.

Another two days, she decided, to the grandmother's house. They could make it that long on the beans. The water was closer—with the little one still sucking milk, the mother's mouth got dried up sometimes. Not dry like the deer bones next to the road, but almost.

"See that rock pile there, way down if you squint?" she said to the big one. Ahadi, her strong boy. Skin the color of embers at night, dark with glints of fire. Cheekbones and eyes just like his daddy. She cringed from that thought, back to the boy before her. Here. Alive. "We stop there to rest. You make it that far?"

"Yes, Mama." He gave her a smile, slow and small. He was quiet since his daddy gone. No telling if he'd seen it. She didn't want to know.

Why I haven't talked about writing lately

Well. It's been a tough summer, writing-wise.

In June I sent off my manuscript with great optimism, thinking it was ready for the big show.

It wasn't. When I looked at it with all honesty, I hadn't given myself enough of a break between end of draft and revision (1 week) or end of incorporating revisions from crit partners and sending it out there (1 week). I was so dang excited about the concept and the book I didn't give it enough time, or room to grow and deepen. I didn't give myself enough time in any sense.

So that's what this summer has been about. On the writing front I was drained, and a little bit broken. So I took about a month and just filled the well. Read without guilt, spent time outdoors and on vacation with my family, watched movies, watched Buffy, all that good stuff. In the background, occasionally, I thought about the book--but not much. I let it be.

Then I took a month and went back and did research. I needed to add a lot more worldbuilding (in a contemp book!), so I read nonfiction stuff on the topic, first-person accounts, histories, newspaper articles, videos. When I finally felt stuffed with knowledge and restless to get started, I re-crafted the plot to reflect the research and my thoughts, and realized how very much of the book I wanted to change.

But you know...when you haven't really written in two months? It is HARD to get back in the saddle. Especially for a substantial rewrite. Your routines are gone. Your discipline is flabby. Your confidence--my confidence--was very, very wobbly. Is.

I'm finally getting it back, if still more unsteadily than I'd like. Along the way somehow I seem to have changed tense. (!) But I have a good, solid plan for how to make the book stronger, by far. The voice is still in my head. I am going to make this book work.

And if I make it work the way I see it in my head, I sincerely hope y'all will get to see this one someday. This book? It could be a kicker. Will be, I hope.

THANK YOU to Agent Sparkle Shark and Team Sparkle--Courtney, Emily, Linder, Scottopher, Tiffany, Victoria--for seeing me through this difficult summer. If y'all don't have a Team Sparkle to help you through the rough times (and in this business, I can guarantee there will be rough times), GET ONE. Writing friends are invaluable. They send you virtual cupcakes for the highs, but they also send you virtual whatever-you-needs for the lows. Encouragement. Confidence boosts. Chocolate.

I do keep whininess and personal disclosures to a minimum here, but I thought it was important that other writers see that there are struggles in every step, and you just have to keep going. So that's where I've been, and where I am. I'm ready to start climbing again.

Envy

This post is going to be brutally honest. I hope you don't think less of me at the end of it. But I think this is an important thing to write about, because I swear all us writers experience it whether we admit it or not, whether we want to or not.

Sour, stomach-twisting, soul-sucking ENVY.

I've been doing this writing thing off and on for 10 years. I've been doing the trying-to-get-published thing hardcore, with agented submissions and revisions and resubmissions, for more than 2. I've gotten close. I have high hopes for the novel I'm working on now. But I haven't yet quite made it past that hurdle, and it's been an emotionally drenched up-and-down run.

The writing community--especially the YA writing community--is close, a tangled knot of interconnected writers, where everybody knows and supports each other. I spend my days surrounded online by YA writers I love. I cheer with them, joke with them, read their work and blogs and emails. I feel that most of them are friends tangentially at least, and many are good friends. I adore these people. I truly want them to succeed.

And yet--and yet.

Still it kicks me in the gut when I read about another 3-book deal with an editor we submitted to. Still I have to take a breath before I smile when I hear someone's book went to auction in the first week of submission. Still I flinch when I see writers half my age sell their fourth book, see people who went on submission long after I did showing their covers or their release dates. Sometimes it's hard to be surrounded virtually by success at something you want so badly, but haven't managed. (yet)

But here's the good news, in my opinion. That horrible envy, those moments of selfishness? They're OKAY. It is perfectly normal and natural to feel a moment of bad for yourself in the midst of feeling glad for others. It's human.

The tricks I've found to feeling that way and still going on, without falling into the suck:

• Allow yourself to feel bad, but NOT FOR LONG. Put a time limit on it. You can feel sorry for yourself for--oh, an hour. Max. And then you get the heck over yourself and you realize that person, that friend, has felt this way too, has had their own struggles, but they've finally made it. And now is their time to celebrate, and your time to HELP THEM CELEBRATE. They need you to. It's okay to feel the envy pangs--it is not okay to wallow.
• Never allow your personal issues to show (erm, outside of this blog post). Envy is personal and private, and okay in that context. It's *maybe* okay to share with a close, trusted friend. It is never allowed, in my opinion, to let any sense of envy dictate your behavior: to say rude things or bring anyone down.
• Realize that everyone feels this way at some point. Even if they seemingly sailed to this achievement, be absolutely certain they've had issues you have no idea about, that there's more behind the scenes. 
• Don't let up. Continue to focus on your work, on improving, on things you can control. That is how you will make it to the celebration stage yourself. 

In short: feel it, but don't let it bring you down. Use that envy to up your efforts. If you have work you're excited about, it's so much easier to truly be happy for others.

And all my dear friends who have succeeded, are succeeding: don't be afraid to share your good news with me! I promise that even if it makes me hurt for a second, that is quickly overwhelmed by my happiness that you really have done it.

And hope that if you can, if I keep pounding someday I will too.

Between Books

SALVAGED is sitting for a few days, ready to be gnawed on by the shark. It's one of those rare times when I don't have writing or revising or editing or re-reading (of my own work) to do. Writers will understand when I say it's an odd, uneasy feeling to be between books, even for a week or two.

So what do I do with myself? Well, work and shuttling Child and going for walks with hubby (when it's not snowing *looks out window, growls*), like always. But what about creatively? I can't just SIT. It's against my nature. There are two things I'm doing, that I always do:

1) Fill the well.
For me, this isn't just relaxing and going mindless with the ANTM. (There's a touch of that, but not mostly.) I'm reading*, watching movies, listening to news stories, paying attention. Collecting dribs and drabs that will be used somewhere else. Many of them go straight into:

2) Simmering the next book.
I don't often jump RIGHT into the next book. I have ideas of what I want to do, but the plot isn't quite there, I don't have a handle on the characters, I'm not sure of the setting. All that stuff has to work itself out in my brain before I start typing. So I *actively* simmer ideas. For a day or two I think of a possibility, twist it around, stretch it, and see how it would go. Usually at this stage it falls flat somewhere, so I add in something else or mix it up. I see which parts intrigue me most, which parts are unique (or at least not-done-a-zillion-times), which parts make me go "OOH that would be fun to play with." I make notes, look at locations, pick out character names. It's all prep work, and directly tied to #1 above. This weekend I was watching a movie and half-analyzing the character relationships, and halfway through I went AHA and went to jot some notes. My plot idea wasn't anything that was in the movie--it just followed on from what I saw. But I wouldn't have thought of it if I hadn't filled the well.

So far I have a main character, a setting, and some intriguing complications. Next week I might be ready to start exploring on the page. (If I'm not doing revisions of SALVAGED by then!)

I don't think a writer ever stops writing, even if it's only in her head.

*on reading: I'm not flush with money at the moment, so this weekend I poked around at the library for some new stuff to read. They didn't have ONE of the 10 books on my list (mostly recent YA), but I did find 5 books to check out. Interestingly, 4 of the 5 were written by men, with male POVs. Huh. This is unusual for me. Wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me something...

Darkness

Sometimes I walk in the dark.

When my vision went bad, it went fast. At the beginning of 7th grade I tested as 20/20. By the end of 8th grade it was 20/200. I couldn't sit in the back row anymore. I was squinting. I forgot what the world looked like in clarity, in detail--it was all a bit of a blur.

I got contacts, of course. I could see again, the glorious vision of individual leaves instead of green blob-trees. But my vision without help continued to deteriorate. Within another year or so it was 20/400. That's legally blind without correction. (Fortunately, correction works fine for me.)

I was 13. I didn't tell anyone, but I deduced, on my own, that it was just going to keep getting worse. I figured they probably wouldn't tell me, but at this rate I'd be really blind before too long.

So I started practicing. I'd close my eyes and navigate around my room, around my house. I'd find my way around walls and furniture with my hands. I'd pour drinks with my eyes closed, judging by sound or my thumb on the edge when to stop. And at night, often, I'd go through the whole house without turning lights on, testing myself.

I don't know when I started to believe that the worst wouldn't happen. But last night I went to check on Child after all the lights were out, and I realized I still do it. Not for the same reason: just to challenge myself. Have I paid enough attention to where all the toys are, where we left things? Do I remember the sharp jut of the desk here, the chair there?

I collect bruises, sometimes, but I keep trying.

Writing is like walking in the dark, isn't it? Especially for pantsers like me. I don't have an outline, a map, a light. I start with a character in a situation and I follow along. Walk bravely in the darkness to see where it leads me.

I collect bruises, sometimes, but I keep trying.

You're Still in the Running towards Becoming America's Next Author

I watch America's Next Top Model. I've admitted it before. (I actually get an absurd number of hits from that one mention of ANTM and bikinis, and now I expect I'll get more!)

You might think it odd that I'm obsessed with this show. I'm 5'3". I'm not model age, nor remotely model-like--I've never for an instant wanted to be a model. I'm not even girly! The show is kinda wacked, and the shoots they get up to are pretty...kooky.

Not situations I--or, um, anyone I know--is going to be getting into in everyday life. So why the fascination?


I finally figured it out: because I have empathy with these girls. Because America's Next Top Model is Just Like Publishing.

I'm serious.

Let's break it down, and you'll stop mocking and see what I mean.


1. The first step for wanna-be models in ANTM is to be good-looking. Not in a typical "pretty" way, but some original take on beauty: an unusual mouth, odd-shaped eyes, the ability to walk on a runway with a "trademark walk" and pose well for the camera. This is equivalent to WRITING A BOOK. Your book also must be more than what's already on the shelves, something still "pretty" (entertaining) but different. Something that will make readers ooooh. Sure, it's a little more labor-intensive than...being born...but the similarity is THERE.


2. ANTM hopefuls make videos of themselves, trying to convince Tyra that they are not only beautiful but interesting, have a life story that will inspire others, and can handle themselves. This is THE QUERY LETTER. I don't even think I need to explain this one.


3. Hopefuls are then culled to a small group that will compete for the final prize. These girls are just like writers REPRESENTED BY AN AGENT. These select few get special advice and training from experts (revision), and then they have to put that advice into practice in photo shoots. In photo shoots they may have makeup and wardrobe and helpers, but in the end it's all up to the individual to perform, to show the best side of themselves. This is still revision, taking all the advice given to you and finding a way to weave it into the manuscript to make it the best possible work you can achieve. 


4. After the photo shoot we head to the judging panel, where each model's fate is decided. This, of course, is SUBMISSION. Fortunately, we don't have to stand there in person while the judges critique not only our photos (our books) but the outfits we're wearing to panel, our hair, and that unfortunate scarf. Our agents handle both the submission and the possibly-brutal feedback. But we do have to remember that when we're putting ourselves all over the internet, blogging and tweeting and facebooking, we're still kind of standing there in panel. That unfortunate comment we made about a book that editor happened to love is just as bad--or worse--than an unfortunate scarf. I've seen girls get eliminated because of what they wore to panel being consistently bad week after week, when they didn't listen to judge's suggestions. Listen to your agent. Pay attention to how you appear. Don't be an ass.


Actually the judging criteria parallel submission and acquisition even more closely. Here are some qualities that are important both in ANTM models and wanna-be authors, if they want to seriously compete:

• You have one chance to make an impression. The most important factor to the judges is that week's photo. Even if you rocked last week (last book), it doesn't really matter. What's in front of them right now, the book you're submitting, is what matters.
• Presentation and personality do count when there is a decision to be made. ANTM judges will often favor the girl with a more positive, engaging personality. If you were an editor, would you choose the author who was easy to work with, upbeat, and willing to compromise, or the one who is always whining and complaining?
• I said this above, but don't be an ass. Difficult, mean people never make it far.
• Persistence matters. Attention matters. Judges look for improvement, for girls who listen to the advice of their experts. Who are willing to revise and revise and keep trying and striving, who put themselves into their effort wholeheartedly.

Now thank God, it's not *all* like ANTM. Authors on submission don't all have to live in the same house, on camera, and bicker at each other. We don't have to be naked on a horse (usually) or roll around in weeds or dirt or wear big poofy clown wigs. Usually. That stuff's just fun to watch.


But I'm in that critical SUBMISSION phase, standing there in front of the judges day after day. And every time I get a positive email from my agent, or even news that we're still out there, still under consideration, this goes through my head, in Tyra's voice. And I smile (smize), because I'm still IN there.

You're still in the running towards becoming America's Next Published Author.

A drop of encouragement

I had a full-circle moment this morning.

I was driving to work after dropping Child off at school, loaded up with 6 packages of cookies to be mailed out, Brownie gear to deliver later today, my cup of coffee. I was thinking of a scene I want to add to my WIP today, a plot twist I might add.

My grown-up life.

And then Rimsky-Korsakov's Scheherazade came on the radio--and I was 17 again, instantly, sitting in the box of a theatre, watching my first symphony performance. And plotting--worrying, really--how in the hell I was going to review it.

In my first semester of college at U.C. Davis I was enrolled in a "Freshman Seminar," a supposedly low-stress way to introduce freshmen to college life and to the faculty. I ended up in a seminar with two other freshmen and D. Kern Holoman, a distinguished professor of music, and the conductor of the UC Davis Symphony.

He scared the piss out of me.

I don't remember what the focus of the seminar was, really, but somehow we were writing art reviews. We watched a movie, went to art exhibits, and had to write reviews as though we were submitting them to a newspaper. It was fascinating for just-dabbling writer me, and eye-opening. Before that I had NO IDEA how much harder it was to watch a movie or view art when you knew at the end you were going to have to summarize and say something intelligent (and entertaining!) about the art for others. I was scribbling notes in the movie theater about themes and characterization, though I couldn't read my notes afterwards. And he was a stickler--imposing, professorial, strict about word count and interpretation and style. Every time I submitted something I was petrified.

But that was nothing to reviewing a symphony performance. I'd been a ballet dancer, so to me the symphony was background, something I moved to. I'd never been to a concert just to listen. And then not only to listen, but to write a review of it, for a CONDUCTOR?

Eeeek.

So I can still remember vividly the mix of emotions of my 17-year-old self, sitting there in that box as the lights went down. Anxiety, but also excitement--and the opening of a whole new world.

At the end of the term, Dr. Holoman pulled me aside, and told me I'd shown promise. That I could be a writer, or a journalist, if I wanted to pursue it. Of course I was an Animal Science major at the time, determined to be a comparative psychologist working with dolphins or chimps. I was thrilled, and flattered...but I didn't think it would come to anything.

Still, I think that encouragement put me on the path. When a few years later I started on this crazy writing thing, his words were still there. They still are. I thank him, and all teachers who take the time to nudge students, to show them the possibility of worlds they'd never considered.

I have season tickets to the symphony here in town now, and Child goes with us to every performance. She loves classical music, at 7. She also loves words. But maybe someday a professor will pull her aside and tell her she has promise in biology, or medicine, or painting, and those words will eventually shape her life.

You never know how the circle will round out, in the end.

Ooops.

Ever reached the frustration point and said something mean, then wished you could take it back?

I have.

Ever misjudged speed and cut someone off?

I have.

Ever had a thought pop into your brain, and you say it--then realize how STUPID that was to say? How it might even have really bad consequences, just because you let it out into the air?

I have.

Ever get impatient with somebody taking forever, then find out there was a damn good reason for it?

I have. That one happens too often.

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone (as far as I can tell) loses their temper, says stupid things, DOES stupid things, gets wrapped up in their own world and loses sight of how their words, their actions, affect people around them.

What I find interesting is when people get trapped in those mistakes.

We just saw a GREAT movie, an adaptation of W. Somerset Maugham's book The Painted Veil. I won't reveal spoilers, but a major focus of the plot is one character's refusal to allow the other to make up for a mistake. It's like he boxes her in that moment--where she'd erred--and will never let her get past it.

Something similar happens in Rachel Getting Married. Kym (played by Anne Hathaway) made a horrible mistake, yes. Horrible. And in a series of mistakes. But to the people it affected, she can never get past that point, that one decision failure--because of the consequences. And the movie is (partly) about both she and her family TRYING to get past that point.

I find this fascinating in writing too, of course. Characters are always going to make mistakes, little mistakes of temper or lack of awareness. And isn't it intriguing to follow the consequences of those mistakes? To explore what happens when something awful happens because of your character's mistake--or the relief when she realizes something awful MIGHT have happened, but didn't. That time.

Mistakes make us grow, hopefully. They also reveal us as real, as frail. They reveal your characters in ways that will make them real to readers--and readers will more easily identify with people like them. People with tempers and impatience and stupid-mouth. I think it's important to be aware of that dimension in your books, to play with it. Follow the mistakes, and see what happens.

Research Weirdnesses

I just ordered a pile of books through interlibrary loan yesterday for the NEW SHINY book I get to work on after I finish revisions. Like most writers, I'm kind of a research nerd--in small doses, at least. I think it's fun to explore new topics, find weird little factoids and whole areas that other people are fiercely devoted to that were completely unknown to me.

So today I thought we could share some of the odder topics we've researched in the course of writing. Here are some of mine, many of which are for books that will never see the light of day or scenes that were cut. I'm glad I learned about them anyway!

• Late 14th century England. I have PILES of books about different aspects: politics, clothes, food, medicine, roads, words, names, uses of magic...this is one of the biggest sections of my bookshelf.
• Cathedral building, stonemasonry.
• Life in a monastery.
• Politics and art in 15th century Venice. (That one didn't last long--I discovered fast that I wasn't interested enough in it to carry me through a whole book.)
• Hospitals. MRI machines. Prescription medicines and side effects. IVs and feeding tubes.
  
• Ghosts. Ghost-hunting, and all the equipment used for that.
• Photography.
• The Kumeyaay tribe, language and culture.
• Theatre exercises.
• Romanian gods and goddessses.

Fun, huh? Well, it is to ME! Now it's your turn. What kind of research have you found yourself doing? What weird worlds have you explored?

Proof of Insanity

A snapshot of my brain, or What It's Like to Be a Crazy Person Writer:

Me: Aaaah, my revisions are turned in. Time to relax. Take a breather. Maybe zone out for a while. Read good books, watch some movies...

MELODY (popping up in my face): Yay! My turn! My turn! Okay, listen. I've been thinking a lot while you were gone. I've got some really great ideas for this book. You'll love 'em, honest. Okay, so you're going to have to totally scrap that first part, and my backstory, and that major portion of the plot and all, but TRUST ME! It will be BETTER! Totally, completely different, but better. Let's get to work! C'mon!

GG (sitting in corner, muttering): Nobody loves ME. I don't see why you're not rewriting ME. But oh no, go for the new and shiny after spending a whole month on JENNA. That's okay. Don't mind me. I'm just the middle child, sitting here alone. In the dark.

THESIS: OMG YOU BETTER WORK ON ME RIGHT NOW! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A YEAR! I AM ALMOST DUE AND YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING! NOW NOW NOW!

Me: Shut up! All of you!! I mean it! No, I don't really mean it. But for a second? Please?

JENNA (emailing me from agent's desk): I miss you.

Today I am...

writing MELODY. And it's already completely shifting, but that's okay.

And I went to look at a page of JENNA, and I totally got sucked in and read 40 pages like I didn't write them and didn't know what was going to happen, which was full of awesomeness.

And then I went to read GHOST GIRL to see if I could do that again, and I did.

So I guess that means I like my own writing, at least. Some days. Hee hee! I love this job.