Go, go, go, go

Yay! Almost done, almost done! 55,000 by end of this week (that's 10k in 10 days, folks), and then I only have ~5,000 more to go!

{hopping up and down}

Better

Okay, I've been duly slapped, and I feel lots better.

Thanks, Vic. {ow}

Call to the cavalry

Okay. I need a bitch-slap, fast. Get your arms ready, girlfriends.

The writing is going well--you know this. I blather on about it every day. I'm less than 10k from the end, and it's fast and furious. I wrote another 1200 words or so yesterday; turned down lunch with hubby to spend more time with my girl today. Am drawn to her every minute. But.

Apparently my brain is not happy unless it's worrying about something. So in the past couple of days, even while I'm writing like a maniac, I've been obsessed with the following:

1. Is anyone going to want to read this book but me? I know, I know. Now is NOT the time to even think about this. But let's say this--Jenna will be a good book, I think. A compelling story. But it's not exactly fit-into-a-mold. {cough} There are things in there, fairly serious issues, that turned out to be bigger within the story than I thought. It's not lighthearted fantasy YA, at all. I'm picturing myself trying to pitch it, and panicking...

(Why do I care about this? Why am I even thinking about this? SLAP ME!)

2. Even worse. I'm freaking out about what I'm going to write next.

Dudes, I know! But I'd had the idea that I would be able to write, if not a sequel, then another book in the same world. I'm not absolutely positively sure, but I don't think so anymore. I think Jenna is a stand-alone, and anything else I tried to write about this situation/world would be repetitive or derivative. {sigh} This has just become clear. So now my little brain is spinning: if you're not going to write that next, what are you going to write? Huh? Huh? What's next, write your passion girl?

What if I only have one book that I'm this passionate about? What if I can't do this again? (What am I talking about, I haven't even done it once, I'm not done.) Eeeeeeeekk!

Welcome to my mind. Is this just fear of finishing? What the hell?

I'm gonna go read the last bit of Jenna and try to kick some sense back into myself, but any help would be appreciated.

Monday status

First:

Vicki Pettersson, who is quickly turning into my writing mentor, is a featured author at Barnes & Noble.com, with her own book club! This is the coolest thing ever--except maybe when she sold her first three books, or when she hit the USA Today list, or when she sold 3 more, or when... {g} Please go by and say hi.

Second:

My rush slowed down a tiny bit yesterday, but just because I had only an hour to write in the morning before Child got up, and there was no more time to squeeze. All told, I wrote 4,200 words since Friday--more than a week's worth of work at my regular pace--and am sitting at my goal for NEXT Monday. {huge g} I'm itching to write the next bit today. Last night I had to get up and scribble out some notes on What Happens Next. I still don't know all, but it's revealing itself pretty fast. I even have an inkling of the end. Not all of it, but half at least.

I also am starting to get a clear picture of what I'm going to have to prune out and plump up again. Some plotlines obviously aren't working or simply aren't needed, and others are muddled. Still, I can "see" it, how it should be.

I have no idea if anyone else is going to like, or even get, this book. It's a touch weird, I admit. But I love it. If nothing else I can just re-read it to myself over and over. :)

Whadjya eat? Yummmm! We bought a seasoning pack of spicy Thai peanut coating, slapped it on pork chops, and baked them. Served with Thai basil-garlic-coconut rice (from a box, by Taste of Thai) and fresh cherries and strawberries. Highly recommend, if you can find it, especially the rice!

Craziness

{GRIN} Yes, it worked. An hour and a half of writing, another 1000+ words. I've done more in the last two days than I usually do in a week.

I'm loving this, I admit it. (almost to 50k!)

But Child is up now, gotta go!!

And more!

Ahem. Hubby went out for an hour to a work thing. 2600+ words for the day. Dudes, I had to drag myself away.

I plan to try to get up early and write tomorrow, but we will see if it works...

More...

{Cough} 2200 words today. It won't leave me alone...I've already surpassed Tuesday's goal. Ha!

Possessed

Wow. That doesn't happen to me very often.

I was taken over by a scene in the shower this morning. It's not the next scene--it's two up--but it is crucial, a significant revelation and tough point in the book. Maybe the low point for Jenna. (sorry, Jenna!) And in the shower it just started coming to me, whole, complete, with dialogue and images and reactions and descriptions...I was muttering the conversation out loud to myself while I got ready, continuing it on the drive in. I had to hold it in my head until I could type it, and then it all dumped on the page.

1200 words. Not the next scene in the book, but there, down. Amazing and tortuous, dumped out whole. Wow.

I still feel like I'm shaking off a possession. And I'm all emotionally shaken. (sorry again, Jenna, really I am...)

This is not how I usually write. I'm grateful for it--I know it's a powerful scene--but honestly, if I did this all the time either people would think I was crazy or I would be... {g}

Shock

Well, with 3 posts yesterday, you'd think I could squeak one out today. Maybe a short one.

I've been in class all day learning how to do CPR and use an AED (automated external defibrillator). Yes, I can shock you now. Watch out! {pointing at each of you}

I told everyone back in my office that if anybody needed to have a heart attack now would be a good time, as I was prepared and fresh. But nobody stepped up. Chickens. Tomorrow, Red Cross First Aid. I also told them to hold off bleeding until tomorrow, please.

But I managed to squeeze my words in during my 35-minute lunch break even though I really didn't have time to eat or anything and had nothing but coffee to drink all day and had to sprint back to the place but hey I got my 500 words and...{breath}...that is all.

Whadjya eat? Black beans and rice. Another new recipe. Verdict: yum. Served with fresh pears and nectarines.

Imagination...

The Hat Trick post of the day!

I just had to record this conversation I had with Child yesterday. Hubby heard it from the other room and was just as boggled as I was.

We were coloring pictures of the Backyardigans together.

Child: What kind of animal is that one, anyway?

Me: I don't really think it's an animal. I think it's an alien. (see picture--the pink one.)

Child: Oh, no. She couldn't be an alien. She's nice. All aliens are mean.

Me: Hmmm. I don't think they're all mean. I think I've heard a story once or twice with nice aliens. (thinking fast: do I say they're not real? Do I?)

Child: No, they're all mean.

Me, after a while, nonchalantly: I'm not really sure aliens are real, anyway.

Child: No, they are. I've met aliens.

Me, sitting back on my heels: Really?

Child (still coloring): Yes, I met aliens before I was born. That's why you don't know about them, because you weren't with me.

At this point all those theories of children remembering past lives, heaven, etc. from before they were born are flashing through my mind, but I keep my voice even.

Me: Really? How very cool.

Child: Yeah. And did you know...(dramatic pause)...that there's a Disneyland in your belly?

Me: Um...

Child: There's a real Disneyland, inside your belly.

Me: Was that why you used to kick me so much?

Child: Yes! Because I wanted you to come to Disneyland with me.

{grin}

A nod

Oh...and I put this in the book yesterday. I couldn't help myself. It does fit with my audience.


From The Weirdest Thing about Jenna:

I swiped damp bangs out of my face. Though it was cold as freaking heck up here—the wind was blowing straight at us on this ledge—I was sweating. Nerves. "Wouldn't it be nice if we could just Apparate into the cave, and bring them back with us?"

Neil looked at me blankly. "What?"

"Harry Potter? Hello?" He shrugged, and I gave it up. Who hadn't read Harry Potter?

Let the brain work

The answer for how to get out of the last fix came to me in the shower this morning (and it builds on what I already had, yay!)--and I solved some other plot problems while mowing last night.

I've heard other writers talk about how "mindless" activities can help in plotting, and that's definitely true for me. I suspect it's the subconscious working it out for you, tying things together that you put in there without really understanding why. I love my subconscious. {g} Where do you get your best ideas, or solve your plot issues?

Whadjya eat? Tried a new recipe last night, to rave reviews. Hubby really really liked it. As usual, it's one of Elise's: Spicy Garlic Cashew chicken. You can control how spicy it is--I took out all but one or two jalapeno seeds, so it wasn't too much for Child. I made the marinade the night before and put it on the chicken in the morning, which worked fine. Served with a veggie salad of tomatoes, cucumbers, and avocado and fresh pears. Yum.

Out of the fire...into the ?

Yes! I escaped the corner!

And put them immediately in a worse one. {cackles}

No, I don't know how to get out of this fix yet either, but I'm sure it will come to me--or rather to Jenna. Inventive little chickie, that one.

And...I finished Harry Potter today. {happy sigh}

NO SPOILERS please! E-mail me if you want to discuss...

Whadjya eat? Leftover Italian food. Added angel hair pasta as a side, and mushrooms fried in butter and garlic (and a tiny smidge of sweet white wine).

Painting yourself into a corner...and how to escape

Have you ever created a situation--for your characters, of course--so sticky, so impossible to get out of, that you drop into reader mode and think Wow! How are they ever going to get out of that?

And then reality slaps you hard in the face when it comes time to write the scene. You sit there, staring at the screen blankly. Thinking, Damn. How are they ever going to get out of that? And you don't know. You have no idea. Everything that comes to you seems like cheating, pulling a trick on the readers. You know better than to have a deus ex machina, because you wouldn't want to read one. You could back up a few steps and make it easier...but what would be the fun of that? Do you want your character's struggles to seem easy, meaningless? Of course not. You know very well that for a triumph to be important to the readers it has to be critical to the characters. It has to come through struggle and hardship and sacrifice.

So what do you do? As the writer/goddess, you do have the luxury of being able to go to earlier parts of the book and plant clues, if you need to, for something to help solve the current problem. And that might work--if you only could figure out what the best solution to the problem WAS.

This is where I am today. I set it up, so it's my own fault--and I must say the situation is pretty good. Darn near impossible to do what they need to do, and not succeeding just isn't an option. But now I've got to fix it, help them succeed in spite of the obstacles.

Fortunately I'm not worried, because this has happened to me lots of times before, and I know what I need to do. First chance I get I have a date with my writing journal, where I will throw out ALL aspects of the situation and all the options, sort through them, and start suggesting creative ideas. Most of them will be ridiculous, but one of them will stick. And then, fellow writers, will come that wonderful AHA moment, when every little piece falls into place as though you meant it to happen like that all along.

Because you did, right? Sure. You planned it that way. So did I. {cough}

Lessons picked up from other writers

I used to avoid reading for pleasure while I was writing, in the fear that (a) it would take too much time away from writing and (b) other author's styles would somehow seep into my own writing. (a) is not really an issue lately, since I write every day at lunch and just know that I can't read during that time. (b)? Not worried so much about that, since I started writing in my own kitchen-sink style.

So I've been reading. And I've discovered that there can be a wonderful symbiosis between reading and writing, when you're writing every day. Though I don't pick up author's styles, I do notice what's succeeding, and what's not, in their books, and I try to note those lessons for my own work. Here's what I've learned from the last 3 books I've read/am reading (yes, I'm still reading HP. About halfway through).

--From Trangressions, by Sarah Dunant: Don't answer the central question of the book two-thirds of the way through. I really didn't care if I ever picked it up at all after that point--the rest was just floppy plot, of no interest. And make sure that the story delivers on the promise implied by the book's jacket. I was (obviously) quite disappointed in this one.

--From Vicki Pettersson: Pay attention (probably on later drafts) to every word, every phrase, you put on the page. There probably is a fresher, more character-specific way of describing something than the first phrase you clunked down. Vicki is a master of original descriptions and turns of phrase, and I love that in her writing.

--From the latest Harry Potter: Complexity is okay. It's also okay to not explain everything for your readers; let them guess. Let them figure it out. Allude to things they don't really need to know about, but the characters do. All this makes for a detailed, real world. Also, let characters speak as they really would, with pauses and awkwardness and occasional swearing. (I did know this, but it's great to see it in print again.)

(forgot) Whadjya eat? Child and I were on our own, so she got to choose. Grilled cheese sandwiches, cantaloupe (her absolute favorite), and veggies with ranch dressing. :)

There!

Whew. That was not easy. But I'm happy with the new blue look. What do you think?

In the...

Yes, I'm trying out pink. I was bored with green, and must change colors regularly.

Don't know if I like it yet...tomorrow I may go blue instead. :)

Oh, and...um, fix my links. And my wordcounter. {gentle head-bang}

In praise of editors

Gary Kamiya has written a fabulous piece in today's Salon called "Let us now praise editors". Fellow editors, go get a day pass and read it, and revel in the unusual appreciation.

Writers, go read it twice. {s}

What I did for my weekend

I did not go to a midnight Harry Potter party on Friday.

Instead hubby, Child, and I went to an amazing dance performance in Helena. Artisan Dance is a cool ballet company that hosts professional dancers from all over the country every summer for a workshop, then puts on a performance at the end. We saw it last year, and knew we had to go back again. Wow. During some parts I was leaning forward in my chair, hands clasped, trying to just be closer to it, it was SO good. Ahhhh. Ballet bliss.

Not to worry, though, I had my Harry Potter waiting on the porch for me when we got back on Sunday. Of course I'm only about 100 pages in right now, so I'm going to have to studiously avoid all blogs, newspapers, TV, and radio for about a week until I finish. DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS! :)

I just glanced at Google Reader this morning and saw about three people whose first lines were "So I just finished Harry Potter..." Yeah. So not going there. I would've brought the thing to work so I could read faster, but I have too many other things I'm supposed to be reading/writing here...

Hope y'all had a fabulous weekend!

Whadjya eat? Leftovers; haven't had a chance to go shopping yet. But on Saturday we had an awesome dinner. I had TWO margaritas (good thing the restaurant was right next to the hotel, eh?). We shared an appetizer plate with shrimp "purses", fried scallops, onion rings, and jalapeno poppers. Then I had a salad with bleu cheese dressing, bread, and my entree: pork chops cooked in peanut oil, topped with pineapple and coconut sauce, and baked potato. Dude. I couldn't even touch dessert.

The big reveal...um, sort of

I've seen a couple of rants lately about critique partners & groups, and how to deal with or give criticism. I've even talked about this subject myself, long ago in blog-land terms. I'm extremely interested in this topic, and I'm about to get more interested. Why?

In the fall, I will start research for my Master's thesis: "Online Critique of Creative Writing: Best Practices from OWLs to Blackboard"

That's right, folks. I'm gonna be researching YOU. The gist of the thesis is that I'm looking at how critiques of fiction writing are handled in different online venues: structured critique forums like Compuserve's Exercises, or the related book critique site; small, private critique groups; critique partners, usually two people who crit each other's work; and online writing labs. I'll be comparing how critiques are handled in these places with traditional methods of critique in the creative writing classroom, and try to apply my lessons learned to (a) help writers and (b) help teachers of online creative writing courses.

I'm just working on reviewing the current literature right now, but soon I'll start pegging sites for research, and beginning to set up studies and surveys. So all you authors in the crowd, please gear yourselves up to be tapped to help. :)

Oh, and keep those rants coming. I'm taking notes. {eg}

Whadjya eat? Leftover turkey slices, cornbread, corn-on-the-cob (me) and sliced tomatoes with dressing (them), and cottage cheese. A nice cool summer meal. Still baking in the 90-degree heat, up here...