Friday, April 25, 2008

Sharing Friday!!

Today feels like a good day, and I'm in a sharing/reading mood. Let's share!

Guidelines:
1. Pull a short bit (less than 200 words) that you like from the chapter you're working on. If you're editing like me, stick a finger or a cursor randomly somewhere, and find something you like around there.
2. Post your bit here.
3. Comment on other people's bits, if you like. This is for fun, not critique, so please only positive things. (If you don't have anything nice to say...)

From Chapter 8 of Ghost Girl:
*****

It was cold outside, but I couldn't really feel it, not in my bones. It was like the memory of cold instead of the real thing. I let out a puff of breath, looking to left and right. There she was, huddling against a skinny tree at the edge of the parking lot. Just past her everything got foggy, like we were on the edge of a storm. Or that was how far this place had been imagined, and no farther.

I got to her as quick as I could, before she could disappear beyond that barrier, into the clouds.

"Hey. You okay?"

She twitched like a scared animal, big-eyed. She reminded me of Megan, actually. Not in looks—she had short, pixie-cut black hair—but in expression.

"Why am I here?" she asked, soft.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "Did you used to come to Starbucks a lot when you were alive?"

Her mouth opened and closed, exactly like a fish. "Alive?"

Crap. Oh, don't tell me she doesn't know she's dead. Don't tell me I have to tell her that.

No, you idiot, you just did.

*****

Join in!!

23 comments:

Catherine Karp said...

I love the Ghost Girl sneak peek. Great excerpt! My favorite part is the last line. I definitely want to know more about both characters...especially the main one and her ability to see the dead.

Here's a quick, very rough draft version of the opening of the book I'm currently working on:

I came to Crossroads Court under the name Brigitte Leeds. I'll explain why later, but if you think about it, you'll figure it out easily. I've always had a dark sense of humor when it comes to my names.

Susan Adrian said...

Thanks for posting, Cathy!! Your bit is intriguing. (Though I don't get it...am I slow? {g})

Glad you like the GG bit!

Hélène Boudreau said...

Great scene! The voice is really fun and I love how she berates herself at the end. :-)

Here's the opening of a new Early Reader (6-9 year olds) that I started this week:

Ham sandwich.

That’s what it feels like to be me.

Crusty bread on the top? That would be Bethany, my bossy oldest sister.

Then cheese. Swiss cheese. Like my older sister Lottie’s imagination. Full of spaces, for ideas to knock around in.

My littler sister Tessa would be the mustard, of course. Sharp and zesty. Isn't that what it says on the bottle? I wanna like mustard but it stings my tongue every time I try it. And ketchup tastes better.

And my littlest sister Ruthie? She’s that itty bitty piece of bread left over at the bottom of the bag.

So, where does Shamus Beacon fit in the family sandwich? I’m the ham in the middle. Two older sisters on top. Two younger sisters on the bottom. And there I am, the only boy in a family full of girls, all flat and squished up in between.

Catherine Karp said...

Susan: Brigitte Leeds, or B. Leeds (Bleeds). I wasn't sure if it was easy to figure out or not, which is one reason why I wanted to try it out on smart people. :-)

Hélène: I love the sandwich excerpt.

Rose D. said...

Ooo, love the excerpt! The descriptions have a misty, otherworldly feel. I like how the cold is like a memory instead of reality, and the description of the fog. And the depth of her internals is really good.

I think I'll go post something from my WIP on my blog. :)

Susan Adrian said...

Helene: Thanks!! I really like your bit. Great voice.

Cathy: Ahhhh. Nope, wouldn't have got it. :)

Rose: Cool! (and thanks for posting, because it made me realize Blogger had bungled the post at some point in the last hour or so)

Rose D. said...

Yikes, I hate when Blogger messes with the html after a post goes up. Glad you were able to fix it!

Hélène Boudreau said...

Thanks!

I copied your idea and have the same topic on my blog but linked back to here. Hope you don't mind. :-)

Jennifer Hendren said...

Nice snip, Susan! I love me some ghosties. :)

Jen

Oh, and I posted over at my blog and linked here. :)

Hélène Boudreau said...

Catherine,

I didn't get the BLeed reference, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It made me want to find out...

Susan Adrian said...

Helene: Of course I don't mind!

Jen: Thanks! One thing GG is packed full of, and that's ghosties. :) I'll take a peek at your blog too!

Lottery Girl said...

Suze,

TERRIFIC post! Great idea to do this.

Carol A. Spradling said...

Hi Susan,

I love ghost stories. (g) I posted a snip of my new wip on my blog.

Linda said...

Oooh, finally some GG! Love it. {s} Can't wait to read the finished product!

Linda

Susan Adrian said...

Steph: Thanks! Did you play? (off to check)

Carol: I've always loved ghost stories! It's fun to write one and scare myself. {g} Thanks for joining in!

Linder: Yay! You'll be one of the first, m'dear. Now, where's yours? {nudge}

Beth said...

Susan, I loved that snippet. Strong voice, and a completely intriguing situation.

Helene, Delightful! I adore the way she compares everyone to food. Fun and original.

Linda said...

Where's mine? Well, can't post anything from the newest WIP yet -- got to finish a complete draft first. I find if I share before that, it's like letting air out of a balloon. Must finish blowing it up first. {g}

Linder

kazdreamer said...

Off topic, but just to let you know I created an LJ feed for this blog, so I can read it on my f-list over there. I am lazy! *g*

Here's the link, in case you want to share it with other LJ friends - at least while you're not cross-posting the content:

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/susan_adrian/

Amy Dupire said...

Hi Suze,
Great fun! I've been wondering aobut GG. I've posted a snippet of JINX on my blog.
Amy

MM said...

wow I love GG. Great line "Did you used to come to Starbucks when you were alive?

You inspired me to do the same thing on my blog.

Susan Adrian said...

Beth, Amy, and MM: Thanks! This was fun. I'll go take a peek at your snips too!

kaz: how did you DO that syndication thingie?? I have no idea with LJ.

Linda: Totally understood. :)

Kelly Gay said...

Just now read this -- I'm so behind on everything! Loved your excerpt, Susan! Very, very cool. But I had a feeling I'd like your writing! ;-)

Susan Adrian said...

Kelly: The hell what? You've got your own life and aren't stalking my blog daily? Sheesh.

Thanks. {g}