Monday, May 19, 2008

Dialogue share...and a snip

Nathan Bransford, generous blogger and literary agent that he is, is doing another contest. This time he's tackling dialogue.

I was sooooo tempted to enter, just because I like to blather about dialogue, and I like to write it. Most times it comes easiest for me, and I have to fight against scenes coming out like scripts, all dialogue and nothing else. But I'm not entering, because I have a marvelous agent already.

Instead, I'm going to inflict one of my favorite GG dialogue-heavy scenes on you! It's a bit pared down to remove spoilers, but I like it. This little guy is just so real to me.

From Ghost Girl, by Susan Adrian:

"You're not dead."

I jerked around. It was the old man, the winker, standing next to me. Too close. Long white hair straggled out from his navy blue "US Marines" cap, perched too high on his head. "Most these folk can't tell the difference. Me, I spot 'em easy." He tapped my shoulder, and nodded to himself. "Not dead."

"I guess not," I said back. His face was a perfect map of wrinkles. That map wasn't going anywhere I wanted to go.

"What you doing here then, missy? Spying?"

I couldn't help it; I laughed. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm spying for the other side. All the live people are just dying to know what y'all are up to."

"Shouldn't mock. Could be." He stroked his white-whiskered chin, studying me. "Picking up secrets you oughtn't know."

The next person ordered and moved to the end of the counter. Almost my turn. The old man moved along with me. "What you here for?" he repeated.

"I'm looking for someone. My mom—she looks a lot like me."

The way his eyes traveled over my face, you'd think he was memorizing it.

"She's not dead either," I added. "Have you seen her? Her name's Molly. She'd be with another woman."

"Nooo," he said slowly, lifting his cap and scratching under it. "Ain't seen nobody looks like you. You're the only one I've seen that ain't dead, in a good fair time."


How about you? Share a favorite dialogue bit here in comments, of your current book or one you're reading. Under 250 words, please!! Maybe sometime along here soon I'll look at a few and see what works. :)


Amy Dupire said...

Well, you made that fellow very real to me. Very sweet.

Susan Adrian said...

Thanks, Amy! Though I have to say I laughed at your comment. Sweet he's not, as you'd find out later. :)

Linda said...

Ooh, love your GG dialogue. Can't wait to read the whole thing.


Susan Adrian said...

Thanks, Linder! You're on the first-beta list. you probably know.