Monday, October 30, 2006

Tightening: 1st Snippet

See the below post (Okay, good! And now...) for rules. Take your edited version of this original, and cut cut cut.

Alec was startled to hear sounds at his door. The execution was not supposed to take place until the morning. It had been but an hour since the lass—his wife!—had left him.


Susan Adrian said...

Here's my "tighter" version!

There was a rustle at the door. God, not yet. It was but an hour since Anna—his wife!—had left, promising to be there in the morning when they came for him. His executioners. Not yet!

Anonymous said...

Okay, here's mine, minus 25 or so words --

It had been but an hour since the lass--his wife!--had left. Alec smiled, his mind on their tryst and their clever plan. He rose to prepare for his role. But then deep voices and clanking keys at his door chilled him. His heart began to pound. The execution was not to occur until morning!

Anonymous said...

The metalic jingle of keys startled Alec. The execution was hours away, what torment faced him now? It would be a welcomed salve from the parting words of the lass—his wife.