Monday, October 30, 2006

Tightening: 3rd Snippet

See the below post (Okay, good! And now...) for rules. Take your edited version of this original, and cut cut cut.

I covered my eyes, squinting across the freshly-ploughed field into the bright afternoon sun. Dad was riding along on the tractor singing some old 80’s song loudly to himself, and I smiled.

2 comments:

Susan Adrian said...

I couldn't cut much, but I got out about 10 words:

I squinted across the freshly ploughed field, covering my eyes against the bright afternoon sun. He was bouncing easily on the tractor, loudly singing an old '80s song. I smiled. He seemed so happy when he was alone, working. I wished I didn't have to ruin it today.

Anonymous said...

I limped to a stop and cupped my bleeding hands over my eyes. Squinting across the field, I searched for the screeching voice. Dad rode along on the tractor singing loudly to himself, and I smiled. A sight that brought me intangible safety.