Thursday, September 14, 2006

Shuffle hop! step flap and...


I am not a stagemother, I will not be a stagemother, I swear I will never be a stagemother.

But my 4-year-old had her first tap class yesterday.

For those who don't know, I have a long history with dance. I started dancing seriously at 8, with tap, ballet, and jazz, but dived headlong into ballet. By 10 I was taking classes 3 times a week, by 12 6 times a week. I was in a professional dance company (The Sacramento Ballet) at the age of 14...and quit at 16. Part of the reason I quit was because of injuries, but part was also just being sick of the politics and dealing with all the stagemothers. So I know whereof I speak.

But. Child already loves to dance. She devours Angelina Ballerina, she owns a tutu and ballet shoes (courtesy of Grandma), and she puts on performances for us all the time. So last year we checked out the recitals of the 2 dance schools in town, and chose the good one (I will NOT put her in something where she wears a skimpy costume and wiggles her butt--that's the other school). This fall we enrolled her, tentatively, in the preschool tap class, which is the only class available for preschoolers. Yesterday she went, in her leotard and tights and shiny black shoes, and us parents and grandparents were nervous. Would she have FUN (most important)? Would she want to participate? Would it be stressful, or joyful? We've only committed to one month so far, so no big deal, but I only want to do activities like this if SHE wants to and is the decider, not us. I held my breath a little.

She loved it, of course. She came out grinning from ear-to-ear. She danced "I'm a Little Teapot" right along with her teacher, and got a gold star on her shoe. Because I'm not and swear to never be a stagemother, I don't care how well she actually dances or doesn't--she's in preschool, for God's sake, who cares? But I do want her to have a blast and enjoy herself, and she did. So we'll stick with this weird dance thing for a while.

Oh, and next week she wants to go in her pink tutu. It's all good with me. {s}

Medieval Word of the Day: selth: Prosperity, good fortune, happiness.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

More ranting on tragedies

My ranting post yesterday got me thinking about endings, and what I expect. I've probably already made my main point on that clear: when I take the time to read a book, I expect the author to give me some modicum of a happy ending for at least ONE of the characters--or if not happy, at least she or he should have achieved one of the goals they were trying for. Give me hope, something satisfying, so that I can close the book with a smile.

Agent Rachel Vater just said on her blog:

"Yes, you can kill major characters. It's best if you don't kill the love interest at the very end. (Sure, with literary fiction you might be able to pull off the Romeo & Juliet ending, where love ends at the death of one or both main characters, but it's tough to make that work.) Why? Because at the end, you want the reader to feel happy, satisfied, excited about your book so he / she will tell her friends about it. Surprise bestsellers happen with word of mouth. The best word of mouth is generated by creating a story that readers love while they're reading it, all the way through the ending and beyond."

Exactly. See, I'm not the only one! I'm fine with killing off major characters during the course of the book, if it's necessary to the plot. But please don't end that way, and please don't do it just because it's more dramatic. IMO, a negative or tragic ending just makes the book an unsatisfying read, and it feels like a waste of time. I don't read second books of people who waste my time, and I surely don't recommend them.

How do YOU feel about it? Do you read "tragic" books, and if so, how do you feel at the end? Does it make a difference to you if it feels inevitable and necessary to the plot, or do you just avoid books like that entirely?

Medieval Word of the Day: wellaway: An exclamation of sorrow or lamentation.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Mutterings of disappointment

Well, that was a not so fun weekend.

All three of us came down with some sort of food poisoning/stomach virus thingie, with fevers and all. {sigh} I was out sick yesterday, and hubby is out sick today. We are slowly recovering but now very tired. And joy, I have class until 10 PM tonight!

Anyway, enough of that. I did get to watch my DVD of the Narnia movie yesterday (I LOVE that movie!) and finished THE ILLUMINATOR.

So, SPOILER ALERT! Here it comes. (And if you haven't read it, sorry; it won't make much sense. So perhaps it's just rambling for me!!)

No, overall I did not enjoy THE ILLUMINATOR. I should have. It's smack-dab in my era, within 20 years or so of TMT. It's full of well-researched period detail, and it's well-written. But every time I put it down, I didn't really care if I picked it up again. And at the end, I could have happily thrown it against the wall. Why?

--I didn't really care about any of the main characters. They were all unlikeable, in my opinion. I appreciate that the author did not try to make Kathryn a modern woman, so we saw her prejudices as she would have had them. That was fine. But in the end, she seemed cold to me. She sacrificed Finn and never even really tried to make it right, when she easily could have. Finn was almost likeable, but I just couldn't believe that he would not want his granddaughter. Granted he'd been through a great deal, but at the end he seemed completely devoid of feeling. In fact the only one I liked all the way through was Magda the servant girl.

--As I say, I think it was very well-written. Then why didn't I want to read it more? I'm not sure, still. I think it may have been the characters and the story. I didn't like them, and for most of the time there just wasn't enough suspense to carry me through. I saw the pregnancy happening far before it did, I saw that Finn's wife was Jewish far before it was revealed, I knew that Simpson killed the priest early on. It was predictable. Except for...

--all the #@$ deaths at the end. Okay, what is UP with that? Here's the thing, here's where this author lost me (and it may be only me): unless it's Shakespeare, I do not like tragedies. I feel like when I start a book, I'm making a little contract with the author. I'll read you, please entertain me, and give me at least a somewhat happy ending for the main people. Yes, you can make them go through hell, and maybe you should. But I do not want to read a 400-page book (and TRY to like the characters) and then have boom-boom-boom main characters being slaughtered left and right. Senselessly. For no reason. First Rose--I thought, what the heck?--but I went along with that. Then all the other children too? She wiped out a whole generation. And then Kathryn has a chance to have her happiness still, and throws it away with both hands. For no reason. There was no happy ending at all. The whole thing just made me angry, and made me feel completely betrayed by the author.

So keep in mind this is only ONE reader's opinion. But my hubby told me that there would be another by this author, and I said, without hesitation, "I don't want to read it." Because I don't trust this author anymore; she's broken her contract with me. Why would I want to invest in her characters, if she's not going to hold up her end? Authors, keep this in mind with your books...don't break your reader's trust, because it's awfully hard to get it back.

Medieval Word of the Day: sourd: Of fountains, etc.: To spring up, to issue from the ground.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Praise

This morning I was cuddling with Child just after she woke up. She looked me over thoughtfully and said, "Mommy, I looove your shirt. And I love your pants, and your sweater. And I really love your earrings. You look so pretty."

Ahhhh. You can warm your hands off that, you can. {s}

Believe me, I know it will not last long. Soon she will be a teenager, and despise all of my clothing and my attempts to buy HER clothing...but for now, I love the 4-year-old age. Cuddling and compliments.

And because it's Friday, and I'm feeling lazy, and I have to go deal with a work issue, that is all.

Medieval Word of the Day: grot: A fragment, particle, atom. every grot = every whit.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The school thang

Grad school so far has been going well, and going poorly. As is often the case in life, both at the same time.

The poor part was all administration crap. Writing up my fee waiver justification. Getting told by HR that I had to do it again, to justify each class separately, and how does "Intercultural Communication" relate to my job? (It's part of the degree, you...) Writing an extensive justification (so extensive and detailed it would make y'all laugh, no doubt, and was approved). Receiving a lovely bill at my house for $2600 after the fee waiver was approved. Hum, approved but not applied, apparently. Having to fill out a form that I don't want student health insurance, when I have employee health insurance through campus and they darn well know that. Receiving my acceptance letter with notification that I was "provisional" until I completed 12 more undergrad credits in things like web design. Having to go prove that I have a university certificate in web design and used to be a user interface designer as my JOB...blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. One hurdle after another, just when I think I'm done. However, I do think it's all over now and I can concentrate on studying. We shall see.

The good parts are, fortunately, the actual classes. I'm taking 3 this term: first, the aforementioned Intercultural Communication, which is rather sociology-like, studying the dynamics of communication between people of different groups. That one is half online, and involves a great deal of writing already (this is why there was no blog last Friday; I was writing 2 essays for that class and was worn out!). Second is a Graduate Seminar, which introduces all us first-year grad students to the process and helps us in developing our theses/projects. More exciting news about my thesis/paper plan later; I'm planning on tying it to writing, and y'all will be able to help. Third is Research Methods; the first half is all statistics. Creating surveys, evaluating surveys, charting data, all that. I'll admit I'm a geeky nerd and loved statistics in undergrad, so this is kind of sneakily fun, and a good change from writing and reading.

The other thing I've got going, that I'm not so excited about, is the GRE. {sigh} I have to take it and score at least decently to be fully accepted, and I have a test appt. for September 30th. The writing and reading comprehensions parts? No problem. The math part? Arrgggghhh! I was studying my butt off last weekend trying to re-learn algebra. The good news on that is it will be over September 30th. :)

So there you are. I've gone from having a fairly slow workload to completely hopping, balancing classes and homework and GRE studying and work. And of course, work has picked up too right at the same time. Isn't that always the way?

Now once all this settles down a little I can also get back to the writing, and I'm certain my burnout will be happily gone. Keeping busy with other things does wonders for that.

I'm interested in hearing from you...do any of you have advanced degrees? If so, when did you do that, and how did you balance it? Have you found it useful? Or did anybody get their undergraduate degree while working?

Medieval Word of the Day: bey: To bend, cause to bow.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

All grown up

We dragged out the budget spreadsheet again today.

This is something we do when we start to feel that expenses have gotten out of hand. You know, that moment, often after vacation, when you think, "Oh my God, what are all these bills?" It's hard to realize, when you're back at your desk, that you still have to pay for that plane trip that's now over, or the pile of clothes you bought, or all the dinners out. Ahem.

So the budget spreadsheet is, as you may have guessed, oh so much fun. We keep track of every single little penny that we spend, and each gets categorized and recorded in the spreadsheet. Even coffees and movie rentals. We do this for a couple-few months, and then we look hard at it and see if we really are overspending and where. Often the process of recording everything itself does the trick. I'm much less likely to buy an extra coffee if I know I have to fess up about it; it just makes me aware of what I'm doing and why. (I blame all this money-awareness on my Norwegian genes, by the way. I have no idea what my husband's excuse is. {g})

{sigh} It's also much less fun when you're keeping a budget. But you know, it's not always fun to be the adult, is it?

There was a related quote in "The Weatherman", which we saw this weekend, that was particularly memorable for me: "Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life."

Easy doesn't enter into grown-up life. I feel like tacking that up on my wall. {s}

Medieval Word of the Day: chine: An open fissure or crack in a surface; a cleft, crack, chink, leak.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Back!

Hellooooooooo! Sorry for the long absence. I was frantic-busy on Friday trying to catch up--I had 1200 words' worth of essays due, for one thing--and just relaxing (well, and more catching up) on the weekend. I never feel right blogging from home.

So, vacation was lovely. One of my favorite highlights was the hour-long biplane ride hubby and I took. We flew right over our friends' house and did a wing-waggle for them and Child, and then headed out over the ocean and up the coast. Man. It's beautiful from up there.

Science Camp at the Science Center in Balboa Park was also a big hit. Over the course of 4 days, Child and I: made a parachute man and threw him off a balcony; made a rocket out of a film canister and alka-seltzer; made moon rocks; smashed a geode; made twirly helicopters; made a volcano in the sandbox; examined and planted seeds; heard stories; sang songs; and did lots and lots of artwork, and other fun stuff. It was tres cool. We also spent a lot of time at the park and swimming, since those were the things Child most wanted to do. Hubby and I saw 1 play (Othello) and 2 movies each, separately, and we ate tons of good food. We skipped SeaWorld and a couple of other major places, in favor of just hanging out. It was a great time.

Now we're back and hopefully will settle into the swing of fall soon. Preschool started this morning, and I have all my grad classes stacked up today. One other thing I discovered this weekend--it really does set a good example for Child when you go back to school, or take time to do important work. She found me yesterday doing my math review work for the GRE, and got very excited. "I have math too!" she cried, and ran off to get her Dora counting/numbers book. Then she climbed up on the bed with me and did her math work while I did mine.

Oh, and writing? Yes, I have a plan to do with writing. I'm still a bit burnt out, but I'm getting there, and WILL have an even better draft ready by Surrey. (I did submit my query to Miss Snark, by the way, but was not randomly chosen...)

Anyway, I'm off to class in 10 minutes. See ya tomorrow!

Medieval Word of the Day: fumosity: (1) The quality of being full of fumes or vapours. (2) The flatulent quality of various articles of food; the heady quality of wine, etc.

Friday, August 25, 2006

An Eventful Night

If you woke up with a weird, straight, 1/2-inch long cut right at the top of your forehead, that you didn't have before you went to sleep, what would you think happened? Aliens, right? Aliens came and abducted you in the middle of the night, performed their odd little brain experiments, and then dumped you back in bed?

Yeah. Um, okay, so that was my first thought. I clearly have watched too much sci-fi TV. (Yes, I know it was probably just my own fingernail, but darn it, the alien theory is more fun.)

I did have a wonderful elation-dream last night. I woke up at 3:30 and was so pleased that I could just drift right back into it. Do you have those? I wish I could remember what it was about now, but I remember very clearly the feeling of peace, of utter contentment and satisfaction. Like that moment after making love, when you kiss your husband on the cheek and allow the pure bliss to flow through you, without doubts or worries. Like the moment when your child looks up at you, unprompted, and says "I love you." Like sitting down with a cup of hot coffee and a new, waited-for book, and 2 hours to yourself.

When I have dreams like that I wake with the sensation that I've touched the otherworld somehow, made an important connection. The feeling of relaxed happiness lingers all day, just on the edges of my mind.

Ahhhhh.

Oh, and note: I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow, so I might not post until Friday of next week. I will have the laptop, so I might...but then I might not. {g} Have a fun week!

Medieval Word of the Day: reaver: A robber or plunderer; a marauder, raider.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Tell me about yourself

We were doing some chatting in the comments about the Myers-Briggs personality test, and our results.

I have an unhappy memory connected with Myers-Briggs, so I do a little mental cringe whenever I hear it. When I was a freshman in highschool--coming off of some difficulties in elementary school, and ready for a whole new group of people, a new start--my math teacher announced that we were going to start off the year by doing Myers-Briggs, "to get to know ourselves and each other." Fine idea, right? Except that part of this "getting to know" involved revealing our results by physically separating out for each dichotomy. We start with E/I, and there is a mass movement to the 'E' side of the room.

There was only one. other. 'I'. And the other was one of those ultimate smart math-geeky people who seems perfectly happy to never talk to anyone else. {sigh} Way to fit in!

Anyway, we did the test 4 years later, again with the same teacher, and I got the same results: INFJ/P. By that time I was rather proud of the classification, and could recognize its truth for me. But it still rankles.

It was interesting that several people popped up in the comments column as INFJs, INFPs, or even both like me. Wow! It's supposed to be only 1% of the population for each type! But...ahem...look at the description for INFJ (from the "Personality Test Center" website, linked to below):

INFJ: "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1% of the total population. These are serious students and workers who really want to contribute. They are private and easily hurt. They make good spouses, but tend to be physically reserved. People often think they are psychic. They make good therapists, general practitioners, ministers, and so on.

"Author". Yeah, baby.

I looked up the Myers-Briggs tests this morning, and was surprised to see that the real one is not only NOT free, but expensive--up to $170 at some places. However, there's an approximation test at the Personality Test Center, for your enjoyment--either for a re-take or for the first time.

You can also learn a lot more about Myers-Briggs at the Wikipedia article. (It IS Wikipedia, so take it with a shaker of salt, but this one seems more well-researched than most.)

Please do comment if you take the test, or you have an experience with it. It appears to be self-analysis week!

Gotta run now, I have my first grad school class this morning!

Medieval Word of the Day: smoterly: Besmirched in reputation.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Color me...

I'm sitting here happily eating radishes and salt (yes, it's the salt that appeals, I admit it) and listening to the Coffehouse internet radio station. I've gotten a lot of work done already this morning, so time for a brief Blogger break.

Continuing in the self-analysis vein, here's another quirk that I wonder about. I assume it's not uncommon, but who knows? You tell me.

I am greatly affected by color.

Not actual clothes so much as other environmental influences, things I stare at or work with all the time. My desktop, my browser. My planner. Post-it notes. My pen. If these things are bright, appealing colors, it cheers me, even when I'm depressed. Even better is when I can change these colors on a regular basis. I update the Yahoo color template often, and download funky Firefox themes. I love pictures too--webshots is my friend for photogenic desktop shots of castles, beaches, mountains...beauty. Bringing beauty to the everyday workspace.

(This is why I love our Mac. Apple understands this urge in me, and caters to it. {s})

I also have my wall at work plastered with drawings and paintings my daughter has done--they explode with multi-layered color, and they always make me smile.

When I was little I was quite happy to sit for hours with the 72-color box of Crayola crayons, organizing them. It was clear to me that this color needed to be next to that one, to create a spectrum that was pleasing to the eye...

So what is this? Color freakiness? Color sensitivity? Anybody else strongly affected by color, or is it something else, like music, that changes your mood?

Medieval Word of the Day: significavit: A form of writ employed in ecclesiastical cases; spec. one formerly issued by Chancery for the arrest of an excommunicated person; also, the bishop's certificate on which such a writ is based.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

It's all about me

I had a 3-hour business meeting yesterday, so no time to blog. Barely time to think! However, as per my usual, other than blogging I was quite productive. How annoying to find out that I really do have to be busy to get things done.

I sometimes wonder what life is like for people who are not so...self-reflective. Ever since I can remember I have analyzed myself, my actions, my thoughts. Comparing them to other people, comparing them as I changed. Trying to discern trends, patterns, to figure myself out. I even was a psych major for a while, but thank goodness I quickly realized that wasn't healthy (when I started to self-diagnose horrible things like schizophrenia or paranoia after one semester, it was a sign; I quickly switched to English).

Unless I'm wrong, not everybody thinks this much. Most of you do, of course, because you're either writers or avid readers, but it seems to me that many people just live. Sometimes I wish I could do that.

Anyway, I'm not woe-is-meing. I'm quite happy at the moment. I wrote 600 new words on Saturday (yay), and plan to continue that scene today. It's amazing what happened when I said "Oh, all right, go ahead, have sex if you want to. I can re-work everything else, or take it out later if it doesn't work." {eg}

I'm also waiting (not patiently) for my transcript to come, which will complete my grad school application package so I can register. Classes start Thursday.

Oh, and we're going to San Diego for a 5-day vacation on Saturday. Woo-hooooo!

Medieval Word of the Day: primer: A name for prayer-books or devotional manuals for the use of the laity, used in England before, and for some time after, the Reformation.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Figuring It Out

Go see Sara's discussion on voice. She covered it much more coherently and completely than I did.

Yesterday I decided to take a blog vacation day. This was a good thing, since I was still feeling all petulant and weird about writing. Even though I'm supposed to be taking a "writing break" I have not stopped worrying about it. I try to read THE ILLUMINATOR to relax, and all I think is "oooh, why don't my characters do THAT?" Or "that description was much better than mine of the same thing" or "I really should consider the opening differently". Kreek had to slap me to get me to stop.

She also helped me in another way--as my good writer friends so often do--by making me face up to something I knew already, but didn't want to admit. I've been holding back an eentsy bit sometimes in my writing. It's there in the first 30 pages or so of TMT, and it's been there in the first bits of Book 2 that I've been working on. This is part of why progress was so slow. I wrote the first scene all out, quickly, and then I just started crawling along, picking my steps very carefully. Because I so want this book to be RIGHT, you see. I want it to be all that I didn't quite manage with TMT, or that I wanted to do better. But the problem is that I don't know what's right for Book 2 yet--I don't even know the characters! And this is the bloody First Draft. I need to let go, be free to write down whatever the hell I want and let it sit there for a while, instead of panicking over each word choice. That's what I was doing. I was sifting and sifting and sifting through what I had, then inching forward, instead of letting the imagination go.

Next revelation? I might just have to do this one in chunks, because I don't know that I can write Isabella-at-11 as well until I know Isabella-at-30. Plus there are some oh-so-good scenes I already have in my head a little, and if I go in order it will be months before I can write them.

So there. New approach: kitchen sink (thanks, Vic). No restraints. Write it ALL in, no matter how stupid it sounds to me at first. Then I can also go back and slash it. I haven't really had to do that before; it might be interesting.

Medieval Word of the Day: lime-twig: A twig smeared with birdlime for catching birds.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Voice

A rather resounding silence.

Hope you liked the story yesterday--I am just paranoid enough that the lack of any comments whatsoever makes me nervous. No, I am NOT fishing for compliments. I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, one of my writer friends was just asking about the elusive 'voice', and how to cultivate it. Sometimes us writers see the constant agent request for a "new, fresh voice" and we just panic. Is voice something that can even be created? Is it inherent to a writer, or learned? And how can we change voice when moving from one project to another, or one POV to another?

I was very pleased to see, when I re-read the story below yesterday, that the voice is completely different from that in TMT. The character is, at least to my read, completely male, and clearly Native American. His thoughts, his actions, his words and metaphors, all reflect that point of view. If I wrote that story with the same word choices as TMT, which are supposed to reflect the thoughts and actions of a young, medieval woman in England, we would have a serious voice disconnect. That would lose readers. (By the way, that story was a perfect example of the writing magic. I wrote it in 2 hours, with very, very few changes as I went along. Almost like dictation. I love it when that happens, but it is oh so rare.)

In my mind, then--and I may be wrong on this, so feel free to call me out--voice is largely a matter of being deep in the POV character. The words you use even to describe the actions of a POV character should be different from those for another character--and that culminates in voice.

However, sometimes there is a voice for the novel as a whole (or series of novels) rather than for one particular character, and I'm not sure I can define that as easily. That voice may be inherent to the writer: a certain type of chapter structure, perhaps, or a way of opening scenes. The method of handling tension and flow. These are beyond individual POV and beyond word choice.

Have you ever read a book by an author and started thinking like the book? D.H. Lawrence does this to me, and so, unfortunately, does James Joyce. (Which is why I avoid James Joyce...who wants to go around thinking like Ulysses?) That is an example of a strong book voice. It's so insistent that it pushes into your head.

Voice may well be a challenge for me with Book 2. Here we are with another young, medieval woman in almost the same time period as in TMT--yet the voice has to be different. The character is vastly different: Spanish-born, royal, warped by tragedy. Isabella is not naive as Katherine was; she didn't have a chance to be. My choice of words, of cadence, of everything will have to reflect that. Oh, and it has to be engaging, and "fresh and new" too. No problem, right? It all depends on whether I can 'hear' her or not, and whether I can capture that 'voice' on the page.

Medieval Word of the Day: pomely: Marked with rounded spots, dappled.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Storyteller

No time for a "real" post today, as I'm scrambling to pull together and submit my grad school application. {s}

But I thought I'd give you a story instead. This one was posted previously on the Writers Forum, and came to me whole in one sitting. Hopefully it's not too long for this format!

The Storyteller
Copyright Susan Adrian, 2005, All Rights Reserved

Beaver Tooth stepped carefully across the boundary of the village. Not too silent, as if he stalked a deer, nor too brash, like jumping the buffalo. He must let the scouts know he was here without seeming to attack.

It was late, far too late for uninivited visitors. Moon had already risen, throwing her pale light across the land to help him find his way. But he was cold, and hungry—no deer, rabbit, or even mouse had been willing to sacrifice its warm body to feed him these four days—and far from home. He hoped the stories were true, and this Chief a welcoming man.

A twig snapped to his right, hidden in the trees.

Beaver Tooth sighed in relief. They knew he was here, and did not threaten him. A runner would already be in the village. The Chief would already know of him.

He strode more easily now, the smooth, packed dirt of the village path a pleasant change from the rocks that had been prodding the thin soles of his moccasins. Too thin, after this long trip. When he returned, one of the women would have to replace them.

His nostrils flared with the twin scents of smoke and roasting meat, and his belly rumbled. There…yes, there was the orange flicker of a fire. The outer ring of tipis loomed before him and he stopped, hesitant. Would they not come to greet him?

After a few moments he heard the rattle of many seeds, in time with strong footsteps. The Chief, a tall, hawk-like man, walked slowly, alone, to Beaver Tooth. He wore a ceremonial welcome robe, the bright colors dulled by night, though his hair was not braided.

Beaver Tooth waited. It was not his place to speak.

The Chief stopped before him. “You seek shelter as a guest, and one of the People?”

Beaver Tooth bowed his head in assent.

“Welcome, then. You may share my fire, my meat, and the words of my Storyteller.” He smiled, and clapped both hands on Beaver Tooth’s shoulders. “We were just beginning a tale.”

They made their way through the tipis, past family fires and many eyes. Beaver Tooth was surprised he did not feel scalded by so many thoughts directed at him, but they seemed friendly, these people. It was a large village, and even their silence was confident.

The Chief led him to the central fire. There, ranged comfortably in a ring and wrapped in blankets, was the Chief’s family: three warriors, wives beside them, one with a small child at her breast. Other children sat here and there, some already drowsing. A few young girls giggled at the sight of him. One woman stood and nodded.

Beaver Tooth’s heart thudded at the sight of her.

She was clearly the Chief’s wife, her aura of power as strong or stronger than his. She wore a red-dyed deerskin dress, the skin rubbed to a supple softness he longed to touch. A fine, blue necklace hung about her throat, moving as she swallowed.

But her eyes, and her hair. Both the deepest of blacks, the dancing black of obsidian. Her hair hung loose and long, the shine purple in the firelight. Her eyes met his, full of laughter.

Beaver Tooth looked away, embarrassed that he could not hide his hunger for her. But she laughed and sat, as did the Chief. Beaver Tooth sat too, across the fire from the woman, and humbly took the bowl of roast meat and squash that was offered him. He ate slowly, as he knew he must to avoid the fasting sickness.

The Chief made a soft call for attention. “This is our guest. Tonight he will rest and eat, and share our fire. Tomorrow will be time enough to question him.”

He turned to the woman. “Storyteller, will you begin again?”

Beaver Tooth’s gaze jumped to her. Storyteller? No woman could be Storyteller; all knew that. It was like a woman being…Chief. How could a woman be trusted with the Stories?

She laughed again, black eyes seeing into his soul. She had known he would be surprised, and had waited for it.

He flushed and looked to his food, as a thought struck him. If she was Storyteller, perhaps she was not the Chief’s wife?

She took a sip of liquid from a bowl, and began.

“In the beginning, there was darkness in the Land.”

Her voice was low and rasped, as though Raven had scratched her throat. But it was right, somehow. Beaver Tooth accepted a second bowl of food and some honey-water, and settled in a blanket to listen, wary of a Story in a woman’s mouth.

“Then the Creator made Sun, and Moon. But they, like all brothers and sisters, could not agree. Who should light the Land first? When? For how long?”

She leaned closer to the fire, and shadows showed beneath her cheekbones.

“They fought and they battled. First Sun would leap into the sky, and the light would burst across the Land; then Moon would pull him down. Moon would jump up, and her whiter light would glow, showing us the stars. But Sun would knock his sister out of the way. Each wanted to be strongest. Sometimes they both tried to hold the sky at the same time. Sometimes they both hid in their anger, and the People and the Animals had no light at all. There was no night, and no day. Their crops would not grow, and they could not do their work.”

Now everyone leaned forward, Beaver Tooth too. The Storyteller’s hands moved as she told, making the magic of the Story.

“Soon the People and the Animals grew tired of this, and called a great meeting to decide what to do. Who should go and talk to Sun and Moon, and try to settle their differences?

But all, even the great warriors and stout bears, were afraid. Sun and Moon were great beings. Would they listen? Or would they cast the spokesmen into the Great Darkness?

Finally, two brave souls volunteered for the journey: a young girl, her child-name Otter, and a Fox.

Otter wanted the day so she could play in the river, her best joy. As it was, she would just begin to play, sliding and splashing, when Sun would go away and plunge her into darkness. Otter hated having to pick her way out of the river in the dark.

Fox wanted the night so he could hunt. As it was, he would just be ready to pounce on Goose…or Duck, or Mouse…when Sun would pop into the sky, alerting his prey and ruining his meal. Fox hated going hungry.”

The Storyteller paused to take another sip from her bowl, and smiled at all the eyes fixed on her.

“So they set off, Otter and Fox, on the long journey. They walked through woods and plains, over hills and through rivers. When they grew tired they rested, though often as not Sun would then be prancing, high and bright, so that they had to squeeze their eyes tight to sleep. When Moon was up they stumbled over roots and stones, but they kept on. And as they went, they made a plan.

As they traveled, they gathered food from each place. There was little enough, with the battle, but each type of land they traveled through offered its best. The woods gave berries, both tart and sweet. The rivers gave fresh fish and water-herbs. The bees in the plains gave honey. After a very long time—of course, none could know how many days, as there were no days—Otter and Fox reached the land where Sun and Moon dwell.

First, they hid their stock of food near Moon’s house. There Fox waited, while Otter went to visit Sun.

Sun lived in a beautiful roundhouse, shining with copper and gold. He accepted his visitor easily enough, as he liked to show his fine things, and his radiant self, to others. Sun was quite vain.

Otter approached him with care.

‘Yes, small one?’ Sun asked, in a high, pure voice. ‘Have you come to admire my beauty?’

She bowed her head, unable to bear his brightness. ‘Yes, Great Sun,’ she answered. ‘And to bring you a challenge from your sister, Moon.’

Sun growled. ‘She dares to challenge me again? She shall lose. What is the challenge?’

‘She asks for a race,’ said Otter. ‘Around the Earth, and back again. To begin now.’

‘Howooooo!’ Sun yelled a battle cry. ‘I will beat her!’ And he leaped into the sky, and began to race around the Earth.

At the same moment, Fox was visiting with Moon in her own roundhouse, lined with silver and gleaming blue stones.

‘I bring you a challenge from your brother, Sun,’ Fox said.

Moon narrowed her eyes. ‘What challenge?’

'A race around the Earth, and back,’ said Fox. ‘But first, I have brought you a feast, from all the lands beneath you. See, here is fish, and honey, and berries, and many sweet things to enjoy.’

And so Moon sat, for no woman can resist such a feast.”

The Storyteller paused as the laughter rippled around the fire, and raised her eyebrows to Beaver Tooth. He drew in his breath. If she were Sun or Moon, which would she be? Moon, he decided, for her dark beauty was like that creature: of the night, yet lighting it for others. She began again.

“And so Fox feasted Moon for full half a day. Then, when he saw that Sun was far enough, and darkness was falling, he told Moon the race had begun. And she, in turn, leaped into the sky and began to race.

So Fox and Otter came together, pleased with their efforts, and journeyed back to the Land. And still Sun and Moon are caught in that race, chasing around the Earth, but never catching the other. For they are two halves of the same whole, as are Man and Woman, and their speed is equal. And the People and the Animals have day, and night.”

She sat back, smiling, as the others praised the Story. Then, as the others stood and made their way to their tipis, she stretched out a hand to Beaver Tooth across the fire.

“Shall we go,” she said, in her Raven-voice, “and see who is Sun and who is Moon?”

And Beaver Tooth stood, and took her hand.

Monday, August 14, 2006

I need more!

All right, you convinced me: it is a little burnout. I'm going to take a 1-week "vacation" from works-in-progress to clear the brain. Two is too much for me, but one sounds about right. {s} And I know exactly what I will work on when I "come back"; I have a very special project that needs my attention. So, yay. Thanks to all for your support! And I'm going out to lunch today!

Now for my big news: I'm pretty darn sure that I'm going to register for Grad school for the fall, to get my master's in Technical Communication.

Why? Because I don't have enough going on with the full-time job, 4-year-old child, husband, selling one novel and writing another. I need MORE.

LOL. Well, I guess that's not really it. But it seems silly not to pursue it at this stage--I work on a university campus, and they will pay for up to 6 credits a term. Work will let me have release time to take courses. I can waive out of quite a few classes with just my work portfolio, and I can use a work project as my grad project. So I can basically get a master's for almost-free, with a fair portion of the work stuff I would be doing anyway. And it will look oh-so-nice on my resume. {g}

Plus? I do so love challenges, and I work better under pressure. Sad, but true.

Medieval Word of the Day: recche: To tell, narrate, say.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Slipped

Yesterday we generated quite a bit of excellent discussion about what fiction should be: deep or entertainment? Fortunately the consensus seems to be that we need both around, AND that everyone takes something different from a story. What's deep and meaningful for one person is fluff for another, and vice versa.

Thank goodness for diversity.

I feel like ranting about something, but since the true target of my dissatisfaction is work politics (*&$%#), it wouldn't really be fair to just pick a random subject merely to vent. So instead I'll go for honesty today.

I seem to have temporarily fallen off the work bandwagon. For a couple years there I was doing really well with persistence, and schedule; I worked every lunch-but-one during the week no matter what, and crammed it in elsewhere when I could. But for the past couple of weeks I've been guilty of doing exactly what I often rant about: talking about writing, even thinking about it, but not actually doing it.

I'm not sure what my problem is. Well, if I analyze I think there are several: I am struggling to get into writing an all-new book for the first time in oh, about 6 years; the submission process is not going as well as I'd hoped, so I'm feeling a little down about writing; and it's beautiful weather outside (our 4 weeks or so of beautiful weather), and my husband seems perfectly willing to indulge me in meeting up and going out to nice lunches several times a week. So I have written maybe 500 words this week, which is AWFUL. {groan}

I know, I know. I am the queen of getting on other people who slack, and here I am. "My name is Susan, and I am a slacker..."

But. At least I'm finally aware of what I'm doing, which is Step 1. Yes, I am going out to a nice lunch in the sun again today. But next week I am dragging out the chains, and chaining myself to my desk every day-but-one. I will re-gain my work ethic!

Medieval Word of the Day: hell-hound: A fiend; a fiendish person: as a term of execration.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Deep

I was having a discussion yesterday with someone who was claiming that in order for fiction to have value, it must have deeper meaning. The reader must be able to not only relate to the characters, but recognize themselves and the human condition in them. More, to have real, lasting worth, fiction should try to show something "new", at least a new take, on the world and people. That without this, fiction is "empty" and "mind candy", a recitation of events.

I argued that it's great for fiction to try for this--at least some types of fiction--but that it's absolutely not necessary to have deeper revelations about humanity in order to be valuable. That sometimes it's enough just to have a good STORY.

But I wonder if the arguer is right in one sense--that the books that stand through time, that we still go back to and re-read in spite of the decades or centuries that have passed since they were written DO include a true reflection of life, and possibly also new thoughts about living. Or maybe this is what makes great books great--that the characters are real because they reflect the complexities of people.

What do you think? Does fiction need to strive for the deeper, richer, truer vision of life to succeed? Or are you attracted also by fiction that tells a story, more simply?

Medieval Word of the Day: sye: To sink, fall, descend (lit. and fig.); to collapse.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

In Memory of Nana


My grandmother passed away early this morning.

Dorothy Bertram Caward was an absolute kick, all of her life. She didn't really care what other people thought—she did what she knew was right, and she did what she wanted to do. She said what came into her head and damn the consequences. (And yes, she said damn.)

She also embraced life every day, with vigor. She got up early, because she didn't want to waste the day. She always tried new foods, and encouraged us to do the same ("How can you say you don't like it if you haven't tried it?" still rings in my head). She loved cottage cheese on pancakes and salt and pepper in buttermilk.

Her favorite color was orange—probably because it was one of the colors of her baseball team, the San Francisco Giants. They were only surpassed in her affections by her football team, the San Francisco 49'ers. Oh, she was passionate about sports. Many's the time I sat on the back bed with her while she argued with the TV, shaking her fists and rattling all her bracelets. But she also loved bridge, and earned her master's certificate (she was quite proud of that; it hung on the wall above the dining room table). And she was an excellent cook. She made the best chocolate pie I've ever tasted, or probably ever will.

She was only 5' tall, but you'd never know it for all the energy she had; she filled up the room. She loved people, all people. When we went anywhere with her she'd either see someone she knew—and stop to chat—or make new friends: with the waitress, the clerk, the child in the next booth. She was always waving or smiling or calling out hellos.

She was stricken with Alzheimer's at the end of her life, but even without her memories she still loved to interact with people. Almost to the end she was vivacious and positive.

To me, she was "Nana". I loved her deeply. I was very lucky to have her in my life, and she will be missed.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Rejected, not Dejected

Rejection sucks.

Well, there's a deep and insightful statement, eh? New ground being broken right here, folks!

Ahem.

I'm feeling a little bruised and battered this week. I won't go into details, but a couple of agents I had very high hopes for--meaning they'd requested materials from me within only a couple of days of query, and my stuff fit their profiles--well, they didn't pan out. Surprise, surprise, I will not be an instant success story after all, and the work is not over.

Yes, I know this is NOT a surprise. Instant successes are rare. First-time successes are rare. Nobody wins a free pass. (This knowledge didn't stop me from hoping, however. But still.)

I moped for my allowed day, and I think I'll just be irritable about it for a day more. {g} But now it's time to get back to the drawing board--back to my keyboard. Back to work.

I am so grateful that I have kick-ass writer friends who support me, who tell me what's wrong when something is, and send me virtual hugs when I need them. Who tell me, even though none of us believe it, that those agents will be sorry eventually. Who remind me, and we DO believe it, that those agents weren't right for me or my work anyway. Thank you to them. And yes, I'll go get back to work now.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Basking

Last night Child went down the waterslide by herself.

She's been on it with me maybe 50 times; she wears her life jacket and sits on my legs. At the end I hold her up so she won't get water in her mouth and nose in the big splash. But she's 4 1/2, and on an independence streak lately. She wants to make breakfast herself, water the plants herself, order at restaurants by herself...(my husband asked her, jokingly, if she would like to drive home. She said "I can't reach the pedals." He responded, "But what if you could reach them; would you drive home?" Her: "Sure, I've watched you do it.")

So here we are at the top of the slide, a line of wet teenagers behind us. She's holding my hand, waiting her turn, but she's not nervous. She has her life jacket on, she knows what to do. I'm petrified.

(What if she gets stuck? What if she bangs into the side and cuts herself? What if she panics in the enclosed space by herself and...) And what? All unlikely. She's never gotten stuck before. I've banged myself once, but only once. Her daddy is waiting for her at the bottom, I'm here at the top. There are lifeguards. It's perfectly safe.

We're next. I set her, my perfect, bright little girl in her flowered bathing suit, into the bubbling water. I wave out the window to her daddy, and kiss her on top of the head. She gives me that grin, the one where she's so proud of herself she could burst. She'll be safe she'll be safe she'll be safe she'll be fine she'll be fine she's fine.

The buzzer goes and I push her back gently, and then she is gone, washing away down the slide. I can't see her anymore; from the first curve she's hidden from me. I peer from the fogged little window, waiting for a sight of her at the bottom. It seems a long time, longer than usual. The lifeguard is watching too, her hand on the buzzer.

And there she is. In a whoosh she flies out from the end, right into her daddy's arms. The buzzer sounds and it's my turn. I slip down the slide. I had wanted this, to ride by myself, to be able to ride on my back and go fast. But now all I want is to have my baby back with me. At the end they're waiting, the two of them, with a tale of her ride--she had lost her balance, flipped over, come out feet first on her belly, backward. But she made it.

"Was it fun?" I asked. "Did you like it?"

She smiled. "Not as much fun. I think I'm too small to balance it right by myself."

I smiled back, relieved. She'd tried it, she'd made it--yay for her!--but decided on her own that she still needed me. She wasn't quite ready for the world on her own yet.

Then she drifted over to the sweet spot in the pool, where the hot water bubbles up from the spring. "Look at me," she said giddily. "I'm basking in the fizzy water."

I knew, even at that moment, that this is what life is like, that there are lessons here. You have to let your children go, you have to push them down the slide out of sight. You have to trust them, and then wait helplessly to make sure they're okay. Sometime soon she won't want to ride with me anymore, and I will be able to ride it by myself as much as I want. Be careful what you wish for. But most of all, that there will always be that moment, if you're lucky, when after trying and maybe not-quite-succeeding to your expectations, you can get a hug, and then bask in the fizzy water.

Medieval Word of the Day: bask: To bathe, especially in warm water or liquid, and so transf. to be suffused with, or swim in, blood, etc. Obs.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Friday Game Day

Happy Friday!

Yesterday's post about personal themes really got me thinking. I love delving into questions like that, the deeper layer of why we do what we do. (okay, you got me, I did start out as a psych major. {g})

So some of you came up with your themes already. Excellent! For those, you can still play along today and see how well you fit. For the others, let's do a game to start to figure it out, if you're up to it! Kreek and I did this yesterday, and it was kinda fun.

The Game (What's My Theme):

1. List 5 of your favorite movies. From any era, the ones you would willingly watch over and over and over.
2. List 5 of your favorite books from childhood. These should be ones you treasure, those that really meant something to you.
3. Look at the lists, and try to see a theme.
4. I'll look at the lists, and see if I see a theme as well--the same or different. {s}

Ready? Play!

Medieval Word of the Day: sturme: a. Of the weather: To storm, rage. b. To cry out loudly.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

It's a Theme Thang

What a very odd week. My mom had dental surgery on Monday, and has been having some trouble since--she hasn't been up to taking Child back during the days. So hubby and I are taking sick days, splitting days (he works half and I work half), going in early to make up time...I got here before 7 this morning, and will leave around 11:30. Half a day catching everything up and half playing Angelina Ballerina. {shaking head} (BTW--I stopped by the donut shop on my way into work this morning and it was CLOSED. What's up with that? Aren't donut shops supposed to open at 5 or something?)

This morning I would really, really like to just go sit down somewhere quiet and finish reading Harry Potter. I got to a Big Scene last night where something horrible supposedly happened, and I would like to Know More (look at all those capitals, Vic). This is what good fiction does for you. It sucks you in and interferes with the rest of your life, twitching into your thoughts at random moments, making you daydream about exactly what will happen next.

The reason I started reading the Harry Potter books, though, wasn't really because I knew they'd be good, but because the first one was a perfect example of My Favorite Theme.

What? Y'all don't have a favorite theme? Sure you do. If you aren't aware of it already, you just have to find it. Mine is pretty clear, has been since childhood, and fortunately is very well represented in fiction and film:

Individual (often child or teen) finds out that they are not the normal, everday person they had been raised to believe. Oh, no. They are magical/royal/the chosen one/fated to face great challenge and overcome obstacles and change the world. Yeah, that one.

This theme comes up over and over, in everything from King Arthur to Harry to The Dark is Rising to the Princess Diaries. I suspect it's universal, and has been around since stories have. Doesn't every child secretly believe, or wish, that their mundane life is not their REAL one? That someday they too will be tapped on the shoulder and find out about their dramatic, fated past, their true quest? Somehow that theme has stuck with me, and I still absolutely love to relive it. Nearly all of my favorite all-time books fit the theme. I have been known to watch otherwise average movies or {gasp} TV shows (yup, Dark Angel) because they fit the theme. I can't help myself.

TMT does not, surprisingly, fit the theme. Nor does Book 2, I think. Though maybe someday I'll write a YA that does. {s}

How about you? What are your favorite themes? What kind of story do you like to hear, over and over?

Medieval Word of the Day: speer (Scot and North): To put a question or questions; to make inquiries; to ask.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Wait

Waiting.

I am so not good at waiting. I get itchy, wanting action, wanting to be able to do something to affect the outcome. Unfortunately, waiting with at least apparent patience is largely what this stage of the query process is--I have a fair bunch of possibilities, both queries and partials, Out There still, so it's not time to send more yet. I've read Miss Snark; I wouldn't dream of sending nudges. All I can do for TMT, all, is check my email regularly and think positive thoughts.

Arggghhh.

That's not a lack of positive thoughts, that's just frustration. {s}

I know, you blithely respond "Work on Book 2! That's your action!" Yeah. I would say the same thing to you at this stage. And I AM working on Book 2, and I'm excited about it. But what I didn't realize when I was saying that to people? It's kinda like saying, "I know your first child is out in the ocean by herself, in a rough storm, without any kind of boat or even lifevest. But hey, you can't do anything about it, so why don't you just sit down quietly here and play with your second child?"

Doesn't sound quite so easy when it's put like that, does it?

Anyway, enough whining for today. I'll work on Book 2, I'll check my email. I'll wait. Patiently.

Medieval Word of the Day: quide: A will, legacy, bequest.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Blip

Sorry, not much in the ol' brain today in terms of interesting things to talk about. I promise to get back on the horse tomorrow. Today seems to be full of shopping and playing with Child, cooking (mmm, lamb with mint jelly and fresh cucumber salad), drinking coffee, and reading Harry Potter. Maybe I'll go work on my garden scene before I read the Harry so I don't get too lazy. Hum.

But I would not leave you without a:

Medieval Word of the Day: iseli: Happy, fortunate, prosperous.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Back to the Grind

Thank you all for participating in Discussion Week. That was fabulous! I love to see some more of the people who are "out there", and get to hear your views. I think I'll do that again sometime soon.

But for now we're back to our regularly scheduled programming. Not much even today--I'm only at work for 3 hours and then I have the kiddo for the rest of the day today, and all day tomorrow. I'll try to pop in tomorrow with something interesting if I can.

My guilty secret: I spent several hours this weekend reading The Half-Blood Prince (yep, Harry Potter) when I could've been writing. I'd been deep in writing TMT when it was released, and have put it off reading it since then because I knew it would suck me in. When I saw it on the library shelf on Saturday I just...couldn't...resist. I am really impressed with J.K. Rowling; in my opinion her quality level has kept up, unlike many series authors. She has sustained and even improved. She has succeeded in creating a vivid alternate world that is so very easy to fall into.

Anyway, I will not succumb this afternoon. Because I'll be home I should have a good hour and a half or two hours during naptime, and I am going to work on Book 2 today. On the drive home from swimming last night I glazed over completely, drifted off into Book 2-land mentally (good thing I wasn't driving, huh?) and realized that the second scene had the completely wrong tone. I had started off with suspense and then switched right into comedy/sibling rivalry. It's okay to have some of that, but to keep the tension I really need to keep things more Serious that early. So I'm looking forward to tackling that scene, reworking it, and starting in on the next today.

Must get to work now!

Medieval Word of the Day (and didn't you miss it? {g}): foretoken: A premonitory token; a prognostic.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Discussion Week Day 5: Life Balance

We're starting off with 2 quotes from my luverly day planner, both of which apply to yesterday's discussion on goals.

"It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan." --Eleanor Roosevelt
"It's never too late--in fiction or in life--to revise." --Nancy Thayer

I like that last one very much.

Today's topic is one that we all deal with, every single day of our lives.

How do you fit writing into your busy life? How do you try to achieve a balance?

I'm really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this one, because I know everyone has different approaches.

Mine works for now, though it might not at a later stage (never too late to revise). I have a small child, a full-time job, and a husband who not unreasonably wants to spend time with me in the couple of hours we have together. So how was I going to fit writing in, when I decided to get "serious" about it again?

Lunch hour.

Sometimes people just don't believe me on this one, but I really did write the second draft of Murderess almost completely on my lunch hours. I developed the ability--because I had to--to shut the door and instantly be in "writing mode", spend an hour working hard on it, and then open the door and go back to work. I also write whenever I have free time at home, and it worked out well that during a crunch period, when I was trying very hard to get my draft done before Surrey, my husband had a temporary evening job. For those weeks I was able to add about 5-6 hours a week of writing time.

For now that's all the time I use, because the Other Stuff is too important to cut into, and because I can't get up early and write like some people; I already am sleep-deprived. But I've proven to myself that I can work this way.

How about you? How do you do it?

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Discussion Week Day 4: Goals

First, our odd fact for the day: I share a dentist with Evel Knievel.

Strange, huh? But I happen to live in Evel's hometown (and no, that wasn't his birthname). Today is the beginning of the 5th annual Evel Knievel Days, in which we are the hosts to hundreds of motorcyclists and Evel fans, daring stuntriders, people who set themselves on fire and jump out of windows, and...umm...well, that's enough, isn't it? {g} Actually the big news this year is that Robbie Knievel, Evel's son, is going to do a jump in the style of his father here on Saturday. Should be interesting.

Anyway, back to Discussion Week. For non-writers this time, I'm going to ask you to imagine that you are a writer, and see what your answer would be.

Your Question: What are your goals as a writer?

Okay, I hear you out there. "Duh. Be a writer."

Not that simple. In your dreams, how far have you pictured?

--Finishing your book (a good book)?
--Getting an agent?
--Getting a contract?
--Having your book published all over the world and making a gazillion billion dollars and being a household name?
--Writing 10 (20? 30?) books, all to universal acclaim?

I bet most of us have at least imagined that far, right? But at least the last 2 aren't goals. Those are dreams. I'm not trying to be negative--it does happen occasionally--but the chances of being one of those gazillion billion authors is...not likely.

So, goals. Goals are something you have to stretch for (stretch HARD), but they are reasonable and attainable. When you sit down and look at it with an honest eye, what are your goals in writing?

My ultimate long-range goal, and I think it is attainable in the end if I S-T-R-E-T-C-H, is to make a career of writing. Not support the household on it, but be able to quit my day job and write while my husband continues to work. (supporting the household would be lovely, but that's a dream--if it happens, bonus) Fortunately, this breaks down fairly easily into a sequence of goals. Fortunately again, I only have to do one at a time.

Goal #1: Finish the first book. (CHECK)
Goal #2: Query the first book. (IN PROCESS)
Goal #3: Secure an agent.
Goal #4: Secure a contract. (agent would actually do this)
Goal #5: Write second book. (IN PROCESS)
Goal #6: First book is published; publicize.
Goal #7: Secure contract for second book. (agent again)
Goal #8: Write third book.
Goal #9: Second book is published; publicize.
Goal #10: wash, rinse, repeat until ultimate goal is achieved, however many years that is. Continue to wash, rinse, repeat to keep ultimate goal alive.

Each one of these goals is a struggle in itself; each one of them is hard. I know there will be many stumbling blocks, and times that I lose faith that it will happen. But if I don't give up, and I keep improving with each book, I think this goal is attainable.

What about you? What are your dreams, and what are your goals?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Discussion Week Day 3: The Hard Bits

First, a slight diversion from Discussion Week to say that I saw CRASH last night...and OMG, if you haven't seen it go run out and rent it now. I didn't think I'd like it too much, as I tend to be self-protective when it comes to movies. I purposely shelter myself a little and don't seek out war movies, violent movies, etc. However. {ahem} This movie blew my socks off. It messed with all my preconceptions, fascinated me, and dragged me into the storyline(s). It reminded me of things that I know, but forget: the fragility of life; the dramatic effects we have on each other with our smallest actions, even without knowing; the knowledge that you don't have any idea what that person's life is like just because of their appearance; the unexpectedness of even our own behavior; the fact that no one and nothing is simple. Go see it.

Hokay, back to Discussion. (And c'mon, join in! I'm very happy with those who responded, yay, but it was 4 of you out of the 40+ who came here yesterday. More! More!)

Today I've got two different branches of question, one for writers and one for readers. Feel free to answer one or both.

Writers: What is THE hardest type of writing for you? Dialogue? Description? Transitions? Action?

Readers: What is your least favorite type of writing to read? Do you skip over descriptions? Scan through dialogue? Flip through the fight scene until you get to the dialogue? Or do you even notice those things? (hopefully if the writing's good, you don't. What if it's not? What bugs you?)

I'll answer both.

In writing, it's love scenes that kill me. Not sex scenes necessarily, just the romantic stuff, the parts that are supposed to make the reader feel the love between these characters. They always turn out dopey and sappy the first time I write them. Then I strip out all the sappy stuff, and they're just bare-bones and boring. It's only on the millionth pass--trying to add humor, unique personal references, balance--that I have any sort of satisfaction with them at all, and they're still my least favorite scenes to read (of my own stuff). Guess I need to practice those more!

In reading, I've always skipped right over long descriptive passages, particularly of landscapes. I have no head for directions--never have--and I very, very quickly get lost with somebody's description of "at the top of the hill there was this, with a blah to the east and a river running blah". I don't care. Tell me there was a hill and a river, and I don't need to know how, precisely, they were situated. In fact I do better in reading if you don't tell me those things, because then I have leeway to paint them in myself, which I prefer, or just keep them vague and get to the action/dialogue. Horrible thing for a historical fiction writer to admit, huh? I've gotten much better at adding description into my own work with practice, but I do make sure to always break it up with Other Stuff so people don't skip. And I don't think you'll ever find a description of what's to the east and what's to the west. {g}

Okay, you next. Writers? Readers? Both?

(you'll notice I'm skipping the Medieval Word of the Day; that's just for this week. It'll be back on Monday)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Discussion Week Day 2: Favorites

Thank you all for posting! I love to know who's out there. (If you didn't post an intro yet and would like to, please join in. All the posts this week are open to be added to.)

Today is another easy one. I'm thinking we'll get harder as we go along--first one toe in the pool, then two...

So your assigned question for today (hard part: ONLY ONE ANSWER):

--Who is your favorite author of all time? Who do you come back to when you want to see just how well it's done? Who draws you into their world so completely, in just one page, that you get lost in it and forget where you are? Who do you want to emulate?

--Why?

I'm like most of you, I imagine; many authors pop immediately to mind. I have my standby authors that I keep handy copies of, and more than one fits this description. But when I think hard, when I really evaluate the one I've received the most reading pleasure from, the one I want to be most like, the answer will probably surprise you.

Mary Stewart.

How many of you have read Mary's books? {squinting for hands out there} She was a huge bestseller in the 50s and 60s, and I first encountered her in a long-forgotten box of my mother's things: a tattered copy of Wildfire at Midnight, with a lurid cover of a 50s girl silhouetted by a bonfire, a mountain in the background. I devoured it. I hunted for more. I remember the day in Berkeley that I found, with glee, two anthologies of Mary's books, with 4 or 5 complete novels in each volume. I think I wept. It didn't matter that they were 50 lbs each, or that I had no car that day--I lugged them around happily, clutched to my chest. I still have them, and dive into them, any story, whenever I feel the need. Later I discovered the Merlin series, and loved her even more. I have read The Crystal Cave how many times? 50? I'm not exactly sure, but some incredible number.

What do I love so about Mary's writing?

--It's first class, for one thing. Well crafted, well balanced, well paced. She knew her stuff. There is humor and pathos, and universal themes and feelings. Her books read just as well today as in the 50s.

--Her stories resonate with me. They're not straight romances--they're suspense, romance, coming-of-age, mystery, thriller...all of that. They're adventures, and I love to experience them. Sometimes they involve magic or the supernatural, sometimes not. The Merlin books aren't straight historicals either. She wrote her own STORIES, and not to convention.

--Her heroines (and heroes, in the case of the Merlin books) are real and human, with faults they must overcome, with their own individual points of view, but always with humor, and always smart. I wanted to BE them.

--She balances detail well; just enough description to paint a place for you without bogging down or slowing the pace. I still want to visit Crete just because of Mary's description of it.

That enough? {g} I could probably go on and on. But I think you've got the point, and I've had enough of the floor. Now it's your turn.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Discussion Week Day 1: Intros

After reading over last week's posts all in a chunk, it struck me that they were just a wee bit...didactic, hmmm? C'mon, admit it. Just a wee bit.

So I was feeling kinda preachy.

This week, I'd like to try something different and try to have some discussion.

For this to work, though, y'all are going to have to chip in and say something. Even those who normally just lurk! I know you're out there. Now's your time to speak up, if only for a post or two. I promise not to hunt you down after or even require anything of you beyond a few words.

Let's kick off the week with a general introduction and even more general question.

Please post with:
--Your name (online name is fine)
--Something about yourself (anything you'd like to share, an odd fact maybe)
--Why you write or are interested in writing

So I'll start.
Name: Susan Adrian
Something: I was a ballet dancer for 8 years and danced in a professional company, mumble-something years ago.
Why I write: Because I'm addicted to it. I've always loved losing myself in a story--a book, movie, or just a scenario in my head--and now I've discovered that I can actually create a world to escape to. And, OMG, others can read it and join in my world too! I don't think I could ever give it up now.

Your turn! Please respond!

Friday, July 21, 2006

The Professionalism Rant

I deleted the Chick-Lit link I posted yesterday because I read it this morning...and I didn't like it at all. There was nothing new said, and the only thing expressed was a general uninformed negativity about books and the world that I see too often anyway. No need to link to that sort of thing.

But that's not what today's rant is about. Today I want to talk about one of the most important traits any writer--any businessperson, any salesperson--can have: professionalism.

I work at a small university in a small town, and unfortunately I see many people who don't understand how to act with professionalism, and how it can positively affect their lives and their work (and the lives of the people who have to work with them!). I think it's the same with being a writer, at least one who hopes to make a career of writing. If you approach your writing and the submissions/publication process with professionalism, I believe your chances of success will skyrocket. Here are my basic "rules" of acting in a professional manner, and how they apply to writing/publishing:

  1. Set goals for yourself, and always meet your goals.
    I am proud of the fact that I don't miss deadlines at work. I set realistic goals, and if I tell someone their publication will be printed and on their desk to take to a meeting, it will be. This is important when you're writing, but will become even more important when you land a contract and suddenly have to write to someone else's schedule. Build a reputation for reliability.
  2. Be courteous and respectful, to everyone.
    This is one of the big ones that gets ignored, but is truly critical. In a business environment, it means be nice to the administrative assistants, the student workers, the interns, and that annoying peer as well as your boss. This is (a) good karma and (b) just smart. On a purely practical level, you never know when someone will be able to be of help to you, and make or break that deadline. In writing it means be courteous and respectful to fellow writers, to agents and editors you query, AND to agents and editors who rejected you. It's a small world, people.
  3. Don't play games with people. Be honest.
    Tempting as it is to lash out at that co-worker or try to work yourself into a better position by subterfuge, don't. Be straightforward. Don't be shy about presenting the best of yourself, but don't try to manipulate. In querying this means don't try to be sneaky and tell an agent your book is something it isn't, just to get them to read a few pages. It won't help to lie.
  4. Take great care with your work. Work hard.
    Do your absolute best. Never let anybody doubt the quality of your effort. In writing they might not like your premise, or maybe your writing isn't strong enough yet; but don't you dare let your stuff, query or the manuscript for your 3rd book, go out with errors because you didn't take the time.
  5. Present yourself well.
    If you go to a conference, take care with your appearance and behavior. Don't be sloppy. Don't get stinking drunk and get sick on a prospective agent. {g} In emails and phone calls, use your best professional manners.

It's all common sense, really, isn't it? So why don't people DO these things on a regular basis? It's mystifying to me...

Medieval Word of the Day: grot: A fragment, particle, atom. every grot = every whit.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Happy Dance

So I've discussed previously how I'm NOT chasing the market, and I'm glad not to be. I just wrote a book that I would love to read, and that I think other people would love to read.

But I admit I did a happy dance when I read this on Kristin Nelson's blog last night:

"Not that it’s any big surprise but historicals are hot and editors are actively looking for original voices—both for big women’s fiction historicals but also for what I call “straight” historicals (especially if they have some sort of intrigue or mystery bent).

Think a more commercial Umberto Eco."

Oh, man. TMT is exactly, exactly that. Women's fiction historical/commercial historical. And "original voices" is great too! Woo-hooo. Perhaps (crossing fingers madly) I've unwittingly hit the timing just right...

Medieval Word of the Day: stathelfast: Firm, steadfast.
(ooh, good word!)

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

A Beginning

Yay! I started Actual Writing for Book 2!

I only managed a paltry 135 words, because I'm still swimming in the research at this point. Every word brings up more questions, more things I just don't know yet. (okay, I know what town they're in, what day it is...what the heck castle would that be? let me go look up quick. browse, browse, I think it's this one. okay, next line about their uncle--blast, what IS uncle in Spanish? I know this, I know this--hmm. go look it up. Okay, Tio. On to the next line.)

But I already was able to begin to express the relationship between the 3 sisters, and since relationships (and conflict) are the most fun anyway...yay!

Critters

There was some talk over at Books & Writers about critique partners/readers. I know I've touched on this before here and there, but not all in one place. So,

How to Choose Critique Partners (aka critters)

To me, critters and readers are a vital part of the process of writing. I wouldn't feel comfortable sending a book off to agents without knowing that somebody besides me had read the thing.

I expect my critters, in general, to:

--tell me if the story "hangs" together
--point out plot holes or inconsistencies (why did Davy's eyes change from green to blue?)
--check pacing (did they want to keep turning the pages? was there anywhere it sagged?)
--note any oddities in language that pulled them out of the story
--tell me about character (did they like Katherine? did they hate the villain? why? Were their feelings mitigated or changed at the end?)
--say, as a reader, if the ending and the story arc was satisfying. Were they happy when they closed the book?

These are from regular critters. "Expert" critters I expect to really just look at their portion of expertise. I had someone read TMT to check that my descriptions of the countryside and flora and fauna of northern England were correct. She also had some excellent comments about the little bits of dialect I have, since she's a native-born of that area. I had a monk look at the scenes in an abbey of his order. I had an archaeologist look at the scenes in the abbey that he's excavating. These readers may or may not have other comments, but you really need them for their expertise.

So what things do you look for in a critter, to give you all this feedback?

1. Honesty. This one is absolutely imperative. It's up to you whether it needs to be honesty couched with tact, or plain-speaking brutal truth, but you need to know what they really thought. Not what you want to hear.

2. A critical eye. I don't think critters need to be writers; a reader's perspective can be just as valuable (that's who you're selling to in the end, after all!). But it won't help you if they read it and say only "it was great!". They need to be able to evaluate it and be able to express what they liked, and what they didn't. How it could be improved.

3. Patience. I doubt this one is just me. I tend to pepper my critters with questions after they finish a read, at least for a day or so. They need to be able to deal with questions.

4. Expertise. If they're one of your expertise readers, but of course.

What do they get out of doing this monumental task for you? Well, if they're writers, you might offer to read their work critically in exchange. This is almost always a good deal. If they're experts, they get the thrill of having been asked, and being able to talk about their expertise. (you laugh, but this seems to be enough) If they're readers and like your genre, they get to read a book, hopefully a good one, when no one else has had a chance to see it yet.

And of course, they get a mention in your acknowledgments when you do get published. Never forget your critters in the acknowledgments; they helped you get this book out to everyone else.

Medieval Word of the Day: selcouth: Unfamiliar, unusual, rare; strange, marvellous, wonderful.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Devil Question

Warning: I'm going to talk about The Devil Wears Prada, and there might be spoilers. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie, best skip on...

Hubby and I saw the Prada movie this weekend. Neither of us has read the book (though we'd both like to now, to see the differences at the least). Afterwards, we had quite the discussion about what was meant by the title--at least as pertains to the movie. Who, exactly, was the Devil here?

Miranda? Well, that's the obvious choice. She's the power figure, always making impossible demands. She's rude to everyone and extraordinarily self-centered. She actively tempts Andy to make a choice to advance herself at the expense of another person. Sounds like the Devil, maybe? But she also is presented, in the movie, as being human. She is visibly upset at the prospect of her divorce and protective and worried about her children. She smiles when she sees Andy happy at the end, and recommends her for a job. Would a true devil do any of those things?

Christian Thompson? This is the guy who seduces Andy, all the while helping to plan the takeover of her boss. He tempts her as well, more than once, with the famous, wealthy lifestyle. He even mocks her boyfriend. I would think he'd be a pretty good candidate for at least a demon...and he could wear Pradas too.

Here's what my husband thought: Take Miranda as a form of God--all-powerful, asking the impossible of her "subjects", striving for perfection (in a sense) at the magazine. Christian (ironic name) is the Devil. They're battling each other for the power of the magazine, with Andy as a pawn. In the end, in that scenario, God beats the Devil by a little trickery, and holds on to the power.

"But she hurts Nigel, badly, in the process," I argued. "God wouldn't do that."

"Look at the Old Testament," he countered. "Were none of God's followers hurt?"

I don't know. It's not what was meant, I'm sure, but it is certainly an interesting reading, something fun to play around with. Heck, I haven't read this much into something since lit classes in college--but it made me remember how much I liked doing that, sometimes. (Scary thought for an author, though. What WILL readers find in your works, that you hadn't even considered?)

Julie commented that Andy was the devil. I hadn't even considered that. Perhaps another take?

What do you think?

Secret Society Girl release

Diana Peterfreund's Secret Society Girl is out today! Diana is an excellent blogger, and I've been following her success on her site for a while now. She's a smart cookie with the writing advice, and I'm betting it's a great book. Just ordered my copy from B&N. Check it out!

I've got a busy morning, so I'll come back later and post. Topic for discussion: who really is the Devil in the Devil Wears Prada? Is there one? {g}

Medieval Word of the Day: dearworth: Worthy of high estimation, highly valuable, precious, costly.

Monday, July 17, 2006

More ranting: balance

Okay, more on the rant from last week. The flip side.

It was NOT about you (except for that one person it was about, but I know she doesn't read this blog, so you're all safe).

I was truly amazed how many of my writer friends identified with that rant, and thought it either was about them or could be. Nearly all of them. Wow. Apparently I have hit smack on another writer insecurity:

I do not work on writing as hard as I should. I am not a "real" writer.

This is B.S. This is just your guilt and insecurity talking. If you are taking time out of the rest of your life on a regular basis to work on writing, you are a writer. If you need to write, if you get itchy when you stop writing, you are a writer. Do you think about your characters while you're doing other necessary life tasks? Do you get excited at a new bit of research, or a plot development? Uh-huh, that's what I thought. Writer.

I sincerely believe that you do not have to write every single day to qualify as a writer. You do have a life; many of you have kids and spouses and jobs. Those things are vitally important and your responsibility, and you can't give them up completely to sit at your computer for 8 hours a day.

Does it sound like I'm arguing the opposite side of what I said before? Well, I'm not. What I said (or what I meant) was that you need to be committed to writing. You need to take it seriously. And most important, if you want to succeed in the end, you need to not give up. Don't give yourself guilt for living your life, just include writing as one of the important things.

There is a balance here, people. Find the balance. And stop guilting yourself over what you haven't done. Do the best you can at all parts of your life, stay focused, and TRY. That's all it takes.

Medieval Word of the Day: iwurche: To work; to make; to do.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The giving up rant

This is my desktop picture today:
There. Now that we're all relaxed, I'm going to rant.

You know who bothers me? Who really, really pisses me off? People who say they want to be writers, but don't want to do the WORK.

I had a friend once who said she wanted to be a writer. In fact, she was working on a book, off and on. More off than on, but sometimes we all have periods in our life like that, right? That's okay as long as you are committed and get back to it, keep at it. But here's the thing I realized, after a while: she quit every time it got hard. Every time.

Writing is hard. When you first start out, it's like motherhood--no matter what everyone else tells you, you think, deep down, that it's going to be easy for YOU. Your child will sleep through the night from birth; your book will flow effortlessly from your fingertips. Same delusion.

There were times during the course of writing my book that I hated it. I hated that I spent every single lunch hour locked inside my office staring at the screen. I hated that I could spend 3 days on a scene, and then realize I had to throw it all out because it was crap. I hated that I had to revise, and revise, and revise, and revise again. This, all this, did not make me stop.

I credit much of the discipline I have to my early ballet training. From the ages of about 10 to 16 I danced at least 3 hours a day, every day except Sunday. From ballet I learned that you must practice past the point of exhaustion, over and over, to succeed--and that you will fail sometimes no matter how hard you try. Failure is a part of the process. The trick is that you keep going and try it again.

So it frustrates me when people stop at one failure, or even one difficulty. Writing IS like ballet--it's an art that must be learned and practiced. No one is born being good at ballet or writing. How can you be a writer, how can you even hope to achieve success in this very difficult, competitive field if you aren't willing to work, and learn, and be utterly committed to the process?

I wish that friend well, but I can tell you that she will not be a successful writer. Nor will the others I see who give up at the difficult places, who give in to the lure to go try another book instead of finishing this one, or "take a year off" when they get a rejection or two. You have to be driven to do this crazy business called writing. And you have to learn to never, never give up.

Medieval Word of the Day: awede: To become mad, furious, or frantic; to lose one's senses.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

More dirt! Bring it on!

Ooooh, I am so itching to start writing this book. The more I dig, the more juicy events and tangles I turn up. By luck or chance I have hit upon an excellent story. {huge g}

Medieval Word of the Day: mulier: Of a child: born in wedlock, legitimate. Also (esp. in Ecclesiastical Law): legitimized by the subsequent marriage of the parents.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Path

This is an interesting time for me.

First, of course, is my own drama: The Murderess's Tale, which I worked on for 5+ years, is Out There, being considered by my hand-picked agents. Right now this translates as a long wait, punctuated by bursts of adrenalin when I check email.

The other, better drama is watching my friend Vicki Pettersson's impending success.

I've known Vicki for a long time: when she was writing SCENT OF SHADOWS, when she was diligently editing it, when she was searching for an agent herself. I squealed when I heard she'd got one of the best agents (the same week she found out she was pregnant with her first child, but that's our Vicki). I got a breathless, ecstatic phone message from her when she signed a three-book deal with Harper Collins. (I should've kept that one!) I've talked to her as she's gone through the publication process, getting her edit letter, writing her second book and sending it off, working on the cover art and copy...

Throughout she's been the same: hard-working, diligent, smart, dedicated to writing and succeeding, supportive of the rest of us. Those of us who know her are not surprised in the least that her dreams are coming true.

What WAS a surprise to me--and should NOT have been--is that (okay, ready for the shock?) the process does not get easier once you get an agent. Once you get an editor and a contract. Once the book is accepted. Apparently you still worry, doubt yourself, and keep trying to make it better. You just worry about different things. Will I sell through? Will my second book be as good?

From the early signs, Vicki really shouldn't worry. Kim Harrison read her book and loved it (see the interview here where she mentions Vicki's book, second to last question). Her publisher is firmly behind her and is seriously promoting SCENT OF SHADOWS (see Publisher's Weekly mention). (Go buy it next March!) She is good, and she is going to be big, even if she hasn't accepted it herself yet.

How very lucky I am to have her as an inspiration, right there before me as I start on the same path.

Medieval Word of the Day: friendrede: friendship.